UnNews:2016 Hillary Clinton campaign

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UnNews Special —
Hillary Clinton's 2016 campaign

A newsstand that's brimming with issues

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Sunday, April 30, 2017, 01:16:59 (UTC)

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Huma perturbed
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- FBI director James Comey has reopened the case against Hillary Clinton, on obtaining a laptop jointly owned by Clinton aide Huma Abedin and her estranged husband Rep. Carlos Danger (D-NJ). They once hoped to appeal to both Iranian and Hispanic voters, but Rep. Danger elected instead to appeal to 15-year-old girls.

Mr. Comey's earlier review of running the entire U.S. State Department off a server just above the bidet off the master bedroom of Hillary's home in Chappaqua, New York found no evidence that she did so to mishandle confidential papers. Full story»

WWEKANE
TAMPA, Florida -- Hillary Clinton has named WWE star “Kane” to be her running mate.

Kane is a theatrical battleground-state politician with working-class roots and a vice-like headlock — traits that she believes bolster her chances to put Donald Trump out for the count in November. Full story»


Hillary defiant
NEW YORK -- (Gnome-speakernotes listen) Hillary's apparent stumble and collapse after heat exhaustion on a mild afternoon was a one-off event. The campaign explained that she was a victim of dehydration, as she doggedly refuses to take a sip of Perrier until all the nation's crises are completely solved.

Also, it was a rare form of bacterial pneumonia that is not contagious, meaning that neither Hillary's granddaughter nor an 11-year-old schoolgirl who gave a scripted hug to one of Ms. Clinton's cankles, are at risk. Full story»

Hillary conquers the stairs
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Hillary Clinton's brain "short-circuited" near the Capitol over the weekend. This has been a problem well before the current era of drone warfare, as it has always been a problem inducing Americans of sound mind to run for President.

The short-circuit led her to use the term "truthful" when she meant merely to say that her lies had been consistent. Another "glitch" made her promise to raise taxes on the middle class, when the source code indicated she meant the exact opposite. Full story»


Loretta Lynch
PHOENIX, Arizona -- In a story that will have no legs because there is nothing to see here, Hillary Clinton's husband had a chance unscripted encounter with the U.S. Attorney General in a private jet on the tarmac.

Both said the visit involved comparing photos of grandchildren — although there are millions of Americans to show baby pictures to, and only one with whom to discuss brooming a federal felony case against his wife. Full story»

Hillary Clinton sunglasses
WASHINGTON, D.C -- Hillary Clinton conducted a "voluntary meeting" with the FBI, in conjunction with its investigation of her private official email server, and doings at the Clinton Family Tip Jar.

The holiday-weekend interview is the biggest display of transparency since her campaign released dozens of emails she had previously claimed she deleted, on New Year's Eve. Full story»

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