This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.
17 January 2007
Muhammad Ali has entertained the world for more than 400 years as both a soothsayer, prophet and expert in feng shui. He is perhaps best known as the man who invented sushi. In his spare time he also mixed it up with all manner of reprobates as the planets loudest exponent of the art of "boxering" (or "boxing" to the uneducated masses). Tragically, he fell victim to an evil magic wizard's curse in 1978 which ended his fighting and speaking career.
With Ali (formerly known as Casio Flay) turning 468 today we thought it only prudent to list some of his, oft misquoted quotes. Some are controversial and others are nondescript but one thing is for sure Muhammed Ali is (or was) the king of tongue hockey!
Some of Ali's quotes
- "I'm not very good; I'm not very good at all." Typical modesty from Ali in 1854
- "Floats like a turd, stung like a bastard!" Ali talks about his famous low fibre, high curry diet.
- "I'm so fast my shit is white!" Just before the famous "Tumble in a Bungalow" box fight in 1670
- "Hey, don't bother cooking the damn fish" Ali invents sushi in 1799.
- "Why I nearly knocked the chaps block off by jove!" Soon after he was crowned King of England in 1902.
- "I aint getting in no plane fool!" Quote that inspired The A-Team series that ran for fifty years in the 80s
- "They calls it a "Shining" young man." To Jack Nicholson in 1973
- "Well, it wasn't me!" Even the great Muhammed Ali won't admit to flatulence!
And so the modern day sporting icon that defined a generation fades into the dawn of his life. What next for the man formerly known as Caesar, US president perhaps? Or maybe he may return once again to the frontline to battle the evil Decepticons as Optimus Prime's right hand man (robot). We can all but hope and pray that his ilk never darken these shores again!