UnNews:'Year After' pill approved for wider sales
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?|
24 August 2006
WASHINGTON, DC - The Food and Drug Administration today approved the controversial "year after" contraceptive pill for over-the-counter sales to women over 18 years of age. The announcement came just hours after the FDA also announced approval another controversial drug, Plan B.
The drug, which is known by the commercial brand-name Plan Z, is an emergency contraceptive which works up to one year after conception. Since the pill was introduced it has been surrounded with a storm of controversy.
"Basically once the woman takes the pill, her baby simply disappears," explains Steve Marshall, lead chemical engineer at Merck, the pharmaceutical giant which sells the drug. "It is the most convenient, painless, and humane way to get rid of an unwanted child."
Conservative politicians and religious leaders were quick to denounce the FDA's announcement.
"This is undeniably infanticide," complained evangelist Billy Graham. "It's tantamount to murder."
Supporters of the drug were quick to respond, however.
"Basically this is another reactionary statement from religious fundamentalists who want to take away a woman's right to choose," said Barbara Streisand. "It's simply barbaric."
A spokesperson for Merck denied that there is anything morally wrong with the drug at a press conference today. "It is not as if you are actually physically killing the child. It is more like recycling your baby."