UnNews:“Pineapple” Noriega's great-grandson pleads drugs, cash
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“Pineapple” Noriega's great-grandson pleads drugs, cash
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, May 6, 2016, 01:49:UTC)(
27 March 2010
MIAMI, Florida -- Growing up, Jean-Michel Beauchamp attended no ball games with his great-grandfather. No barbecues, either, or bedtime stories. This mainly because his great-grandfather, known to him later only as “Pineapple”, went to prison before he even existed.
Now, over 150 years before the end of his prison term, Beauchamp's great-grandfather -- former Panamanian military dictator Manuel Noriega -- remains behind bars pending Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's decision whether to sign extradition documents.
The U.S. Supreme Court on Monday turned down Noriega's request for a new hearing, setting the stage for his extradition to France, where he has been convicted in absentia on murder, money-laundering, bashing, drug-dealing, shooting, whore-pimping, stabbing, megalomania, bludgeoning and gross-ugliness charges, and he faces a new “memory-numbing” trial.
|“||It’s so cool! He’s like a living ‘treasure map!'||”|
But to 16 year old Beauchamp none of that mattered. He only wants to know where are the drugs and cash! Beauchamp told CNN through interpreters, "I don't care about him! I just want the dope and money he hid away!! It’s so cool! He’s like a living ‘treasure map!’”
President Obama has a role to play in Pineapple’s release as well, Beauchamp said, but he held out little hope that the president would stoop so low. "Unless Obama wants his cut of the drugs and cash too. I already offered 20% to Hillary if she could jog his memory!" Beauchamp concluded.
- AP "“Pineapple” Noriega's great-grandson pleads drugs, cash". CNN, March 27, 2010