UnNews:"Your opinion matters, tell it to the hand" says UK Government
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
"Your opinion matters, tell it to the hand" says UK Government
A newsstand that's brimming with issues
Thursday, December 8, 2016, 08:13:UTC)(
13 February 2007
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
10 Downing Street, Londinium -- An electronic poll set up on a British government website asked the people of Britain for their opinion on proposals to charge drivers for every mile they drive. The result was overwhelming; the server was brought to its electronic knees by over a million motorists logging on to register their opposition to the scheme. Several MPs have strongly criticised the poll initiative, claiming that the person who thought up the idea of an online poll is a "prat".
Professor Ihaff Nopanz, Senior (and only) Lecturer of the University of Watford, explained the situation despite not being approached for comment:
"It is clear that this poll sends the Government a strong message in a single voice. And this message is "We the electorate can't be trusted to make the right decisions". If the people were really worth listening to, then they would have agreed with the Government's policies. The pay-as-you-go road scheme has clear benefits such as reduced congestion, lower emissions and ever more enormous heaps of money for the Prime Minister to roll around on. The Government can't be expected to listen to the butterfly attention spans and whimsical wishes of the people. The democratic process is fair and just. Every five years you're asked to contribute, then that's it until the next election. In this country we have two whole political parties, and if you don't like their policies then you can just move back to Russia, you Communist!"