UnNews:"Plagiarists make my life living hell" says Mozart girl

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1 August 2009

Wolfgang

“This song will keep my future descendants rich beyond their wildest dreams.”
~ Mozart on Happy Birthday

Kookaburra, The Australian Bush -- Australia is not known for its home grown singing talents and so it comes as no surprise that their number one pop band, 'Men at Work' have been found out to be cheats, liars and plagiarists. A Sydney Court has found them guilty of stealing the flute riff for their 1981 hit, 'Down Under' from the children's classic 'Kookaburra Sits in the Old Gum Tree.'

Sentencing, Judge Gorblimey described Men At Work as a despicable group of burglarising blaggards. The cricket loving left hander then ordered that the proceeds of their crime should be confiscated and distributed back to the children of Australia, some of whom will be traumatised for life following this heinous crime.

This is not the first time that plagiarism has hit the headlines. Molly Mozart, the great great grand niece of the once famous classical composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, claims her life has been a living hell because of outdated copyright laws that have robbed her, and her family, of royalties worth billions of Austrian Francs. "Everytime I hear 'Happy Birthday' being sung, my bits sink," lamented the 34 year old mother of six.

Vegemite addict Molly has already spent four months at her Majesty's Pleasure, for gatecrashing a restaurant birthday celebration for seven year old Debbie Larter. "Once they started singing, I just lost it," she explained. Police who attended the scene had to drag Mozart out of the restaurant amid screams of "You'll all pay for this. I'll get what's due to me, you'll see."

The use of plagiarism has been questioned by none other than the infamous Crosby poet, Roger Van Gogh. "I don't like composers who think. It gets in the way of their plagiarism. If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research." Van Gogh is currently researching for his long awaited new poem, 'Daffodils'.

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