UnNews:"Pineapples of Wrath"?
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"Pineapples of Wrath"?
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, April 30, 2017, 11:10:UTC)(
13 June 2008
Salinas Valley, CA. In a shock to scholastic types worldwide, officials at the Steinbeck Institute released a previously unheard of manuscript written by the world reknowned author John Steinbeck entitled " Pineapples of Wrath" under great pomp, circumstance, and hoopla. In the Main Exhibition Hall, under a black and white photo of Mr. Steinbeck sitting upon his favorite chair, and with the Salinas High School Marching Band playing "Pop Goes the World",near the buffet table, Museum Curator Adam Bein read the following sobering speech:
"It has come to my attention that Mr. John Steinbeck's " Grapes of Wrath" was part of an "ilogy". He went on: "From the back of the kitchen in the cupboard, on the top shelf, very early this morning, one of the dessert cooks discovered a hithertoo unnoticed green, white, and orange striped flashing, spinning, sparkly, cardboard box. Seriously, you guys couldn't spot that before huh? Jeez Louise. Anywho, inside the box we discovered pennings of Mr. Steinbeck that hithertoo had gone otherwise unnoticed." After several more transgressions and use of the phrase "hithertoo unnoticed," Adam Bein read a list of the manuscripts that had not yet been discovered:
- "The Garbonzo Beans of Wrath."
- "The Rutabegas of Wrath."
- "The Cauliflowers of Wrath."
- "The Carrots of Wrath."
- "The Jalapenos of Wrath."
"We are truly stoked and it is our hope that high school students across this great country of our read this masterpiece. Okay, let's get into that buffet eh?! Whoopee!".