UnLegends:The Land Where The Sun Shines Not

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 21:42, October 19, 2012 by RAHB (talk | contribs)

(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to: navigation, search
The scene is a firepit outside a small cave. The fire is not lit and it is very dark, so dark that the firepit can barely be seen. In fact, you probably wouldn't have known it was a firepit unless I had just told you. But let your eyes adjust a bit and you'll see it eventually...

Ok. Eyes adjusted? Good.

The fire suddenly lights. As if by magic, an old Indian man appears in the cave's entrance, not all at once, but not in pieces or gradually either. He steps slowly forward, but never moves out of the cave. His features are distinguished, and it can be assumed he's lived many years, through many a battle. A medium tempo, Indian style flute begins to play in the background. Suddenly, yet softly, he opens his mouth to speak. His voice flows out like thunder, and yet there is no lightning to accompany it.

Which is a shame, as it's still really fucking dark, even with the fire, and some light would be nice...


Outlanders call this place "The Land Where The Sun Shines Not."

But the natives prefer to call it, "The Land Where The Sun...Shines Every Now And Then." Or....well, it shines about, 7 or 8 hours a day, give or take. But the outlanders are never really here during that time, that's the main problem really.

Sun is shining
This is not The Land Where The Sun Shines Not.
You see, the trains don't come here during the day, well....the natives are actually, uh, rather nocturnal....so you'd understand why the trains don't come here during the day, it's because the natives....don't want to be woken up, but uhm...

But outlanders still have a very skewed perception of what goes on here because, 9 or 8...7 or 8 hours of the day, it's actually quite pleasant around here, the climate is rather nice and we don't get uhm, very much rain, although we do get a little bit in spring but...it's kind of, uh, refreshing really, you know....Uh, well we don't get too much rain though, just enough but uh....we never get any snow, I know that....well, there was that one year.

Eons Ago

When the sun....well, at the time, the sun really didn't shine around here but...come to think of it, maybe that's why the outlanders call it The Land Where The Sun Shines Not, because, it...well originally it did not....well, I don't know about originally, that was before recorded history really, but it could be assumed...that originally the sun did not shine because, well back then it didn't and...well, now that I think of it uh, at around that time, most of the earth was covered by perpetual darkness actually, but...the sun still did not shine so...

Well, thinking about it that's admittedly probably not why they called it The Land Where The Sun Shines Not then, but....well, it is probably the train thing, yes, I guess that's the best way to explain it....but

When The Sun Goes Down

Black
This photograph somewhat resembles The Land Where The Sun Shines Not. But it is not.
Sioux Native American Man Named Whirling Hawk
This is a Sioux Native American man named Whirling Hawk. He is from The Land Where The Sun Shines Not, but this picture wasn't taken there, obviously.
in The Land Where The Sun Shines Not....which you'd think would be all the time, but...well, it's only at about...well, during the summer it's at about 6:30-ish is when the sun sets but...when the sun goes down in that land, unspeakable things happen. And you'd...well that's probably why they're nocturnal around here because...if you were asleep at night, those terrible things would happen but you wouldn't really be around to witness them so, people kind of stay awake so they, they know what's going on. In fact, the crime rate has dropped significantly around here since people started adopting that, uhm, method of sleep, but well....

UNSPEAKABLE THINGS Still Happen

Like....well, last weekend actually, my friend...he was, he was mugged, by a...bu- well it was rather dark you see, because it was nigh- well that's probably why unspeakable things only happen at night because it's, it's very dark and it's hard to...to really see the perpetrators, and...so my friend actually did not um... he didn't get a face uh....but uh....but it was unspeakable, he was mugged, and uh....well, you know I, I've said too much.

GO AWAY FROM THIS LAND

AND....come back....around 6:30ish, in fact you might want to wait until seven, you know, some people still aren't awake yet at that time...

190px-Featured.png

Potatohead aqua Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 6 May 2008
This article has been featured on the front page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
<includeonly>Template:FA/06 May 2008Template:FA/2008</includeonly>
Personal tools
projects