UnBooks talk:The Winkler impersonator who cried GAY GAY GAY
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|This article was nominated for deletion on December 29, 2007.|
|This article was nominated for deletion on December 30, 2007.|
|This article was nominated for deletion on January 7, 2008.|
Perhaps after you finish this article and move it to the mainspace, maybe I can record an audio for it. Leave a message on my talk page when you finish it. --17:29, 23 December 2007 (UTC)
- Yah, that would be a great idea once I finish. Thanks for your help--
17:52, 23 December 2007 (UTC)
- Oh, I liked the title better as GAY GAY GAY. -- 21:37, 28 December 2007 (UTC)
- I renamed it UnBooks:The Winkler impersonator who cried GAY GAY GAY-- 21:38, 28 December 2007 (UTC)
edit From Pee Review
|Humour:||5||Unfortunately, this article doesn't stand on its own very well. This article merely details a series of events, which is not funny in its present form.
Since you used Verdict several times, it makes me think that this article might be funnier if instead of being an Uncyclopedia history, you make it a sort of courtroom drama. There could be several cases, where lotsofLOLS and his socks present the defense, labeled as Defense, and then Uncyclopedia users, the Prosecution, rip apart their arguments. Then, the judge rules. You might have forensic episodes, where some other Uncyclopedia users act as detectives and present evidence to the court. If you go this route, a name change is certainly in order.
Or you could further expand it as a history text. Add more details. Do more research. Expand it to be an accurate account. It probably wouldn't be as funny, though.
Or you could pursue a third option of your own making that turns out more brilliant than the other two. But really, choose something other than what you have in the article right now.
|Concept:||4||As it stands right now, this could be a part of the Uncyclopedia history text. It's boring, it's dry, and it doesn't really seem like an UnBook. See the humor section for ideas. I put most of the stuff up there that should really be down here, because this article is flawed in primarily concept and approach. You need new ones of both.|
|Prose and formatting:||8||I have no serious problems with your prose or your formatting. Seeing as how you have the proofread tag up on there, I'm sure it will be fine.|
|Images:||10||No images, and by default, a ten. The guidelines say to give a ten for no images, but then many people just give zeros. I'm confused on this issue. These comments have no relevance to you.
The images you decide to put in the article depend on what direction you want to go, so you're mostly on your own in this regard.
|Miscellaneous:||6.8||I despise this section. I wish it a lump of coal this Christmas.|
|Final Score:||33.8||Take a different approach with this article. LotsofLOLS and his repeated attempts at removal of his article was damned annoying, so just a history of these events is not sufficient for an article.|
|Reviewer:||Sir Groovester | Contributions | Talk Page 08:53, 25 December 2007 (UTC)|
The Beginning 5.5
Chapter 1: The Begining 5
Chapter 2: The case is tried 5
Chapter 3: The case is retried 5
Chapter 4: The Real Mr. Winkler 5
Well it is kinda tricky to say much here. I'm afraid I just don't find any of this really that funny. It's really just a history of what happened, but the jokes are rather thin on the ground as far as I can tell.
|Concept:||7||Well any non Uncyc regular will have no idea what this is about. I think that without some knowledge of what happened this article is likely to appear very random and pointless. You would have to follow a lot of the links you give to the forum pages, and other Winkler related articles for it to make any sense.
You really are taking on a very tricky one here dude. A lot of people will have their own opinion on what happened, and I guess you are mostly putting forward your views on what happened. I'm not saying your wrong to do this, and I think we need this page. I guess all the other discussions related to Winkler also apply to this article itself.
If it were me, I might think about expanding this article to consider what would have happened if the 'real' Mr Winkler did actually turn up. What would we do? Would we take it down? Really??? If we did it, what we then do if Michael Jackson also contacted us asking to do the same? It's an interesting discussion, but I'm not sure this is the place to do it.
Regarding when you name particular people I would refer to them as Codeine|Some admin myself, but that's just me.
Generally though, it is a rather week concept as it is. Maybe it needs to be taken in a slightly different direction to make it less factual, and more something fun to read. I wish I knew how.
|Prose and formatting:||6||Your language is OK, but it needs polishing here and there. If you are going to make fun of someone who spells badly your use of the English language needs to be perfect. In a few places you slip from the Encyclopaedic style into more of a narration of what happened. I think you need to choose which style to go with and stick to it. For me, I would go with the most formal hard nosed encyclopaedic tone you can manage.|
|Images:||4||Only one pic? Come on AE. I know it's difficult to find pics for this sort of thing, but with only the one pic this article is not helping itself. How about a pic of LOLs getting thrown out? Or an empty desert showing all the people who care?
I think if you can add some more pics, the rest of the article would start to look a little more creditable, and then you could work on the flow between the sections a little.
|Final Score:||29.5||Well you're trying something difficult here. As it stands, this article is really just a record (according to yourself) of what happened. There is not much in this to make me laugh however. Laughing is the point of Uncyc (I think) so if you can blend the facts with a little creative license this can be improved, but it's a tricky subject area so be careful.|
|Reviewer:||MrN 21:12, Jan 8|