UnBooks talk:The Autobiography of Jesus of Nazareth

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So this is why that Jesus page was so important to you. Sir Socky Sexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk) Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:40, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Actually, I was trying to see if someone had already done this or not (I have a feeling someone has). Couldn't see anything for the life of me. Then, I just said fuck it. I'll write it anyway. I'm enjoying it. But then I just figured if it actually was a problem, we should get it fixed. Woody On Fire! Wood burning Talking Woody Stalking Woody 19:53, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
I really like how this turned out. I'm thinking about nomming it... Sir Socky Sexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk) Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 21:03, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
You may do as you please, dear sockpuppet. I may go get this Peed on, just to see about a few questions I have about it. Woody On Fire! Wood burning Talking Woody Stalking Woody 13:53, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
I might hold off till you get a review. Sir Socky Sexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk) Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 12:19, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
Ambitious ! However doesn't it need a final paragraph at least after the crucifixion - coming back from the dead (or not). ? -- Laurels RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate). 06:09, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
I don't think so. I already had that he didn't come back from the dead, and I'm mainly just taking from the bible and bastardizing it. Past the rising from the dead thing, the bible doesn't go into too much detail of his life afterwards. I guess I could do the Assention, but it really wouldn't work in the context of him not dying and all. So, I don't think there's really anywhere else to go with it. Woody On Fire! Wood burning Talking Woody Stalking Woody 15:47, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

Ahhh! Nominated! I better get to work on Saberwolf's changes soon. The President of Iran WOODY! Wood burning DeathLife? to the infidels! Go USA? 21:40, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Humour: 8.5 Well done, Woody! You've got an original idea, good execution, and funny jokes- all the makings of a feature. However, while this is very good as it is, I think you could expand on it more to make it go on a broader range. Joke-wise, I think you should focus on some of the miracles Jesus did-I believe there was something about him turning water into fine that you could have this guy expose as a fallacy? You have a lot of potential for conceptual expansion, which i'll get into below.
Concept: 7.5 Excellent concept, and can be expanded quite a bit. Right now, however, you're a bit skimpy on the details: you list out the basic well known beliefs that Christians have about Jesus, but I was still left hungering for more. Take the last section: I kind of felt like you left me hanging, and that you were going to write more. I'd recommend establishing a proper conclusion towards the end, with Jesus stating why he believes the mix-up happened, as well as his retrospective on the Bible in general, and the beliefs it entows. You also might want to get into the other sections of the Bible: for example, what does Jesus think of the Book of Revelation? Does he think it's right? Does he agree with the parts of the Bible that say being gay is wrong? I also think you should make that part about Judas into a full section- does Jesus, putting all things into perspective, regret chosing him as a disciple? The possibilites for an article about Jesus refuting things in the Bible are endless- while this might be featured now, and I think it would be a shame if you didn't expand this article so that it covers some other controversial aspects of the Bible.
Prose and formatting: 7.5 There are a couple of problems. First, you have an excess of redlinks. I think you should check what you link to just to make your article exists. Another problem is that I think you could improve on your text-image placements. Make sure your images aren't so big that they overlap into other sections. Also, your "Walking On Water" section is a bit short compared to your other ones, so I think you should expand it and slap an image on it.
Images: 7.5 They're decent. They illustrate your article well without ever being break-out funny (though I did laugh at the bachelour party one). If you're going to take my advice and expand it, however, you can play around with a lot of images. For a section on Revelation, you could steal a shot from this trailer. If you wanted to talk about Jesus and gay people, take the image from Gay Jesus. You could make a lot of good images fit with this article, so keep an eye out.
Miscellaneous: 8 My overall grade of the article.
Final Score: 39 This is a very good article that would probably make VFH. However, I think it could be much better if you expanded on it. To recap, go more in-depth into other parts of the New Testament, and add Jesus' commentary appropriately. Obviously, add some good images for new sections, and make sure that you avoid an excess of red-links. I'll be looking forward to what new things you decide to add (if you want to).

Bottom Line: Write about more of Jesus' experiences, capitalize on your concept. Good luck! =)

Reviewer: Saberwolf116 02:55, 24 June 2009 (UTC)


By the way, Romartus, thanks for helping out with the Walking on water section. It turned out well thanks to your writing. Oh, and fixing all of my spelling errors, of course. The President of Iran WOODY! Wood burning DeathLife? to the infidels! Go USA? 01:46, 28 June 2009 (UTC)

JESUS LOVES YOU. WWJD? JC IS MY HOMEBOY.

This is sort of a small point... but Lazarus wouldn't have went into an Epileptic shock... it would have been "anaphylactic shock"... --> BN, Annoying Medical Student

Isn't that somekind of allergic reaction? Sir Socky Sexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk) Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 12:06, 4 July 2009 (UTC)
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