Nice structure. I like the variety of it. The build up to "I am a fucktard" is great. It feels like a good solid foundation, but it could do with another push here and there. One idea I had was to play on the idea of telling a story through bits from letters, diaries newspapers etc... I'd include quasi-some irrelevant stuff - "Somebodies Laundry List" etc...
It's a well trodden path to the Carpathians, but there's plenty of room for manouever.
Prose and formatting:
Not sure about this one. I am hopeless at formatting. The structure kind of demands the format but it looks a bit samey. Needs some variety.
Good ones. Like the Keanu. Needs more though.
Lovely weather outside? How's that for a Misc. commment? I don't know. My overall reaction is to think, this is great, great idea, and now I want to push it further - get in there and unwrap the comedy layers until it really becomes like the Terry's Chocolate Orange of wit. Yes, I don't think I can put it better than that.
Good idea. Great structure. Solid writing. Needs a gloss.