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Lost? Accidently went off the side of a cliff? Your wife being a backseat driver? Then this, Uncyclopedia's own UnRoadMap is just the tool you need! In a very inconvenient format, you will be able to locate where exactly you are and how to get to your location, despite what your wife or insignificant other may state!

Whether you're American, Canadian, British, Engrish or Antarctican, this road map is a great resource for you!

edit The United States of America


Can you understand this image of Interstates? Good. If not, check out this page.

This is for you, the American citizen, whether native or illegal immigrant, let's teach you how to get around these, the United States of America.

First, you need to understand how the road system works in America:

Now that we got that out of the way, let's start!

edit Alabama


Howdy Y'all!

Howdy y'all to Alabama, home of the partially free and proud state with the most trailer parks. Need to understand how to get around the simple state of Alabama? Let's roll! (translated into english, the Southerner actally said, "Ya best git yerself outta my staate 'fore i blow yer testicles off with my scatterguun!")

edit Alaska

Planning on visiting the snowy land of Alaska, or are you just lost? No worries, this state has snow plows making their roads somewhat accessible. You have to go through Canada though, so make sure to pick up some beer on the way.

edit Arizona

Interested in doing some gambling, whether it be legal or illegal, or perhaps you want to marry that woman you found on the corner of the street. Use this guide to get you through the hot and barren land that is known as Arizona!

edit Arkansas

Also known as the 'Ar in Kansas', follow this guide to take you to the land above the extended Gulf of Mexico.

edit California

Care to ride your Hummer through the massive roads of California? Use our stolen guide!

edit Colorado

Think you can brave the snow covered mountains of Colorado? Don't be a wuss, take the challenge!

edit Connectthedots

Don't take this state's small size for granted, it's roads are quite complex. Then again, that's my opinion, which you probably don't care about.

edit Delaware

...what? Just click the link.

edit Florida

Want to ride your Ferrari through the golden roads of Miami and Fort Lauderdale of Florida? you stinking rich.... Perhaps you just want to steal some oranges from local farms? This guide is for you!

edit Georgia

Come on, it's Georgia.

edit Hawaii

Of course you need a guide to the roads of Hawaii, just make sure your tires can handle lava flows.

edit Idaho

Hands hurt from typing...

edit Illinois

Even people in the middle of nowhere need road maps too!

edit Indiana

Beside the middle of nowhere!

edit Iowa

I hate repeating myself.

edit Kansas

Having difficulty navigating the weather-damaged roads of Kansas? Take a look!

edit Kentuckistan

Looking for the local Kentuckistan Fried Chicken, this guide can help!

edit Louisiana

I'll try my best...

edit Maine

Although it's still 'technically' part of Canada...

edit Maryland

Be merry in Maryland!

edit Massachusetts

Massa wha?

edit Michigan

Although most of our roads are not recorded, you can still 'try' to drive around Michigan.

edit Minnesota


edit Mississippi

That place with the river.

edit Missouri

Or is it here...

edit Montana


Oh yea, pure Montana...

Full of mountains, Montana is a driver's dream or nightmare for those starting to drive.

edit Nebraska


edit Nevada

The ultimate road map for those wanting to lose their money!

edit New Hampshire

The quick and easy way to get from Old Hampshire to New Hampshire.

edit New Jersey

Vwelcome to New Joysee!

edit New Mexico


Route 666

Yes, there's a New Mexico, get used to it.

edit New York

And yes, four states with the word 'new'. Somebody wasn't creative.

edit North Carolina

Driving to South Carolina from the north? Guess what, you're going through North Carolina!

edit North Dakota

For whatever reason you need to drive through here, we're here to help somewhat.

edit Ohio

Trust me, it's bigger than you think.

edit Oklahoma

It's north of Texas, so this guide is a definite asset.

edit Oregon

Sure, Oregon is full of trees, but there are 'some' roads...aren't there?

edit Pennsylvania

Sounds delicious.

edit Rhode Island

For roads on Rhode Island, the island full of roads! Horrible man, horrible...

edit South Carolina

Need to get to North Carolina driving from the south, use our South Carolina guide!

edit South Dakota


edit Tennessee

For that southern charm, in a middle state!

edit Utah

You...tah? Who comes up with these names?

edit Vermont

It's way the heck up there.

edit Virginia

I'm not making a vagina joke.

edit Washington

No, this is not Washington, DC, this is the more boring place to drive.

edit West Virginia

Good luck.

edit Wikipedia

Have you ever tried navigating Wikipedia? 1,500,000 roads and climbing, it's a freaking nightmare!

edit Wisconsin

Looking for some nice cheese or milk? Then Wisconsin is for you!

edit Wyoming

In the amount of time it took to get to this part of the page, you could be at your location in Wyoming by now.

edit Texas

If you ever think about navigating Texas on your own, you might as well shoot your genitalia.

edit Canada



Contrary to what people think, Canada isn't all snow and ice, only 85% of it is. They are also human too (or so most think) and need to get around to their friend's igloos. Thus, for those of you who visit Canada for some reason, or already live there, this guide is for you!

edit Ontario

Ever heard of the 400 series highway? No? Then be thankful for this guide to Ontario.

edit Quebec

You want to go to Quebec? Wow, you sure got some guts.

edit Nova Scotia

What the heck is Nova Scotia?

edit New Brunswick

AKA North Maine, home to Freedom French Fries.

edit Manitoba

On the way to the snowy white...north?

edit British Columbia

Just because its west coast is full of islands and mountains doesn't mean it doesn't have snowy roads! Gentlemen, welcome to West Virginia!

edit Prince Edward Island

Got a boat which can carry a car? Then come to Prince Edward Island!

edit Saskatchewan

The place nobody can spell!

edit Alberta

Alberta: Home of even more mountains! Who am I kidding, this is worse than West Virginia!

edit Newfoundland and Labrador

Yes, this is the home of the Newfie.

edit Northwest Territories

...we have roads?

edit Yukon Territory

...The Northwest Territories has roads?

edit Nunavut

Hey everybody, meet the new guy!

edit Alaska

One can wish, can't they?

edit The Filipino Empire

Some routes may contain many Filipinos living there; just run over them if you need to.

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