UnBooks:September 11th, Two-Thousand-and-FUN!
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Remember that one time in 2001, that those twin towers have collapsed to ashes, by those airplanes? Remember those times when we discovered that these "terrorists" have caused that attack; and that Osama Bin Laden chieftain behind this mastermind? Well, forget everything about what all of those bias news the corporate media fear-mongering cows have been stuffing into your mouths; because we're going to take a look at a different perspective of this attack, on this book called September 11th, Two-Thousand & FUN!
edit Chapter 1: The Beginnings
The idea of brainwashing Americans into believing this dilemma of "terrorism"; came from a secret cavern where corporate low-lives get together to plan each year's debacle known as, Bilderberg. The year of 1999's attendees were George W. Bush, Ted Turner, Ben Bernanke, Rush Limbaugh, Dick Cheney, Barack Obama, David Rockefeller, and others. That year, they were planning to create one hell of a terrorizing decade; so that the citizens would get distracted, which would let the elite plunge into the New World Order in no time.
That idea of creating the "War on Terror" came from none other than crackpot, George Bush. He was smoking large pounds of marijuana, when a light bulb had popped from his numskull brain; and he said, "Hey... hey, guys. I have an idea! We should create this phony "terrorism", and then uhhhhhhhhhhhh....... get some of those SUICIDAL MANIACS to bomb, ehhhhhhhhhhh.... the Twin Towers! And we blame it on those "heartless terrorists". Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh!". And then, David Rockefeller nodded with agreement; and then added, "Good idea! And, you know what else we should do? We should blame Osama bin Laden on this attack; saying that he was responsible for the attacks, and that he's the culprit criminal!" Then Ben Bernanke exclaims, "Well, you know what they say! War equals money for us rich folk, at the extent of the middle-lass, though. You know, we should tax these people at a ridiculously expensive price! So that we could spend it on invading countries and call it, a "War On Terror!" "Annnnnnndddd! And to make sure no one dares to do some real investigation on that mysterious attack on the Twin Towers, can can blind them with Entertainment and propaGANDA!!! To back up the ongoing War on Terror, so that the befuddled middle-class can stay naive; well we rob them of their money!", yelled Ted Turner. And then Bill Gates concluded with, "And we control their minds with newer, more useless gadgets; so that those idiots can have their heads glued to their "Smartphones", which are really Indoctrinating Weapons!"
The plan was all coming together; but then, one man had stated the one last thing to the whole entire part of world domination. It was Barack Obama who said, "Yeah, and we can have fraudulent elections propping up as if the Americans would actually believe they have the power to elect a politician; when it's really us whose wire pulling these shenanigans. With you, George Bush, being the first of the corrupted 21st Century Presidents. Purposely screwing up the economy and lying to the public! "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, shucks! I'm gonna be frickin' president?!" George Bush questioned. Dick Cheney soon replied, "Yep. And I'm going to be your MASTEEEERRRRR! HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH!!!! Uh, I mean... Vice President."
And soon, the plan was completed. Within the next two years, the plan known as "Operation 9/11 Terrorism Theater" will happen; with the Twin Towers falling, and the first decade of the 21st century in the Age of Terrorism.
edit Chapter 2: The "Terrorist" Attack & War On "Terror"
After the Bildiberg meeting, the CIA had hired three of the most-psycho freaks ever found. The CIA then trained them to blow up the Twin Towers and act like derailed terrorists. Then on September 11th, 2001; it would be the day that these trained men would crash into the Twin Towers. Killing many lives and demolishing the two buildings, with many of the clueless Americans having to watch the horror, blanketing their eyes.
The news have spread like wildfire, as shown on every single truthful news broadcasts reporting on the attack. The elitists' plan have succeeded; as now in 21st Century, would be the first step into taking over the United Stats and inevitably in the future; the entire world.
A couple of months (or years, give or take) after the attack,
Imperial General US. President George W. Bush had announced that he declared "War On Terror"; and that the army must invade the Middle East. As Bush stated in this partially censored speech:
"Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh-Uhhh-Uh-UUUUUhhhhhhh. We must invade and destroy the, the city of New Orleans! NO WAIT!!! The Middle East. These terrorists need to be stopped, for they have done something that our something... to this country, of UUUuuhhhhh.... something. It is our time now the we, the people; must secure our dictatorial powers, by using Big Brother-style cameras, Body Scans everywhere 24/7; to oppress the people of our nation... full of people! Now.... it is the Age Of Terrorists. We must start, the War On Terror.
So then the country would throw itself into a region which would seem like a lifetime. Out to kill as many of the eastern freaks as possible; to destroy their property, steal the oils, fuck every single trick, prostitute and hooker they could find; and as soon as there was no one left; create a permanent US Airbase/Military base there. Meanwhile back in the country, many of the delusional Americans have grown to be increasingly paranoid. They were often worried if a terrorist would come knocking on their doors, and blow their brains out (literally). Some have even committed suicide; by either taking too many ecstasy and jumping off a window, taking too many ecstasy and tying their necks with a rope connected to a bridge, or mixing ecstasy with weed and shooting/stabbing themselves. Either way, ecstasy was involved; and it was starting to get rampant.
On the news everywhere, there has been
fake, animated real videos posted from the notorious Al Qaeda Mossad (fake) Leader Osama Bin Laden; and in videos, he would rant about bombing the United States everywhere, and anywhere! This made the ecstasy-induced suicides become more luxuriant; as every day now, there would be at least 100 commons suicides throughout the entire day. So to make sure that these suicidal Americans would return to sanity, the government would agree to bring in extra-security. It may have seem like a good idea, but this move was planned by the elites and government to instill fear into many minds; so that the middle-class would have no choice, but to accept more security around the US. Just so that they could sleep at night without worrying about these "terrorists". Eventually, it would result in TSA Body Scans, Public Cameras, an agressive police state force; watching each citizens' every move, with the police and FBI Agents using force on any citizen if they want to. So in order to prevent any revolts, the government has hired Ted Turner and Bill Gates to advertise new computer gadgets and celebrity entertainment; so that the sheeple can get back... to playing Angry Birds.
edit Chapter 3: Criticism and Conspiracies
There has been many criticisms regarding about rather if the Twin Towers were actually destroyed by terrorists, or inside job created by the government to declare invasion in the east. Conspiracy theorists such as Alex Jones and Jesse Ventura have been investigating more on this elite-made scheme; trying to find out more answers to this scrambled puzzle. But the truth of the 9/11 Attacks were often denied by the United States Federal Government; dismissing them as "Crazy, hypnotic conspiracy-theory nut-cases that fool people with misleading opinions". And though many of the Sheeple Americans have actually accepted the government's answer to such conspiracies; there were also people, who were smart and open-minded enough to realize of what the government has really been up to.
There has also been strikes rejecting the 9/11 Commission Report; with celebrities Charlie Sheen, Hal Sparks, and even the commissioners of the 9/11 report speaking out against the wrong doings of the government, regarding the September 11th Attacks. But sadly, every strikes against the government are culminated into the cops tazing, shooting, and beating down innocent protesters like the douche cows they are. Thus, ending every, single protests in that way.