UnBooks:Ronnie James Dio's Big Book of Nursery Rhymes

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Ronniejamesdio
Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the Dark Lord and scores of his fiery disciples from the nether realm feast upon your immortal soul forevermore.

Quote1 Sure, my manager keeps urging me to switch to a word processor... Call me nostalgic, call me old fashioned, but I think my creativity really flows with my favourite quill in a well of goat's blood. Quote2 ~ Dio

Houseofcards
I swear to G- ...Gosh Suzie, you're about the prettiest girl I ever saw. And the smartest, too. And you're, like, the nicest girl I've ever met ever. Honest. I mean, you make me feel all funny inside, like I don't know what I'd ever do without you.
Fat-wiccan
Another pagan served the death she so richly deserved (with a side order of your choice of fries, coleslaw or potato salad).

About The Author


Ronnie James Dio (born July 10, 1942, in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, USA), is a heavy metal vocalist, 42nd level magic user, midget rights activist, and children's author. When he's not recording, touring, or being fired from or rejoining Black Sabbath (or Rainbow), he's reviewing student applications at the Ronnie James Dio Institute of Lyrical Technology. And, when he's not doing that, he's busy penning another kiddie classic in his tireless pursuit of a Newbery Medal.

In this, the long-awaited follow-up to 1980's Children of the Sea and 1985's Rock 'N' Roll Children, Ronnie gives some of the classic children's nursery rhymes his signature treatment.

Baa Baa Black Sheep

Baa, baa, black sheep,

Oh, you're such a fool,

Sell your soul in

The fragments of your wool;

One for Mephistopheles

And the minions of the game,

And one for the gypsy girl

Who gives magic pain.

All Around The Mulberry Bush

All around the mulberry bush

The snake pursued the weasel.

The snake bit deep, and blood did rush.

Pop! goes the weasel.

A penny for a shard of light,

That penetrates the darkness.

Who paid the price in mortal fight?

Pop! goes the weasel.

Up and down and in and out,

The path of twisted Evil,

Death awaits the ones who fright.

Pop! goes the weasel.

Thirty pounds of thundering might,

The creature: Satan's beagle,

Out the doggie door from Hell,

Pop! goes the weasel.

Georgie Porgie

Georgie Porgie, mystery eyes,

Tricked the girls and told them lies.

And when his house of cards was falling,

He fled to Hell by Satan's calling.

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill

Went up the hill

To sacrifice a chicken

But Jack the Catholic took offense

To Jill who was a Wiccan.

So Jack seized both

The feathers silk

And hair so soft and wispy

And offered both on altar high

And broiled them extra crispy.

Hey Diddle Diddle

Hey diddle diddle,

The Devil played fiddle,

Fiddler
Satan's public image has improved considerably since he appointed Annie Leibovitz as his official photographer.

The night of the full blood-moon,

Lucifer laughed with a hideous snort,

His dish is where your soul will lie soon.

Monday's Child

Monday's child is full of sorrow,

Tuesday's child is born tomorrow,

Wednesday's child walks from the light,

Thursday's child talks to the night,

Friday's child denies the truth,

Saturday's child is long in tooth,

But the child that's born on the Sabbath day

Is a dwarven pseudo-poet with a rock star toupee.

Dig-A-Grave

Grave-digger
Travis becons you to the warmth of Good Mother Earth. From Dio's upcoming book "The Happy Little Grave Digger".

Dig-a-grave, dig-a-grave, cemetery man,

Dig me a grave as deep as you can.

Find it, carve it, and mark it with a "D"

Throw yourself in and send the bill to me.

Peter Piper

Peter Piper prayed a prayer

Of pernicious perversity;

A prayer of pernicious perversity

Peter Piper prayed

If Peter Piper prayed a prayer

Of pernicious perversity,

Evil child
Little Jimmy Parsons, 8, enjoys biking, playing his Nintendo DS, and cavorting wildly over the trodden remains of his hapless victims.

What's the prayer of pernicious perversity

Peter Piper prayed?

Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Row, row, row your boat

Gently under the stream.

You all shall die in a fiery blast,

From my nuclear submarine.

What Are Little Children Made Of?

What are little boys made of?

Tyranny, wrath,

And need for a bath,

That's what little boys are made of.

What are little girls made of?

Temptation and lies,

And certain demise,

That's what little girls are made of.


Publication Details

Ronnie James Dio's Big Book of Nursery Rhymes will be published by Houghton Mifflin early next year in a large-format hardcover with copious illustrations by Peter Mihaichuk and (of course) the evergreen children's artist Hieronymus Bosch. Advance copies have been in the hands of critics for two months, and the reactions have been favorable: Andrew Rosenthal of the N.Y. Times wrote, "A refreshing work that any adult will enjoy reading to their child. Hail Satan!"

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