I lay in bed, listening to the wind howling and the tree outside scratching at the window, imagining the countless ways that I might meet my demise. The wretched beasts residing beneath my bed could become restless and hungry, and devour me like so much Kraft macaroni and cheese. The tree outside could come to life, reach into my room and drag me, screaming, through the jagged windowframe. A lightning bolt could come through the cieling, catching the bed ablaze and paralyzing me, keeping me still as the flames slowly burnt through my flesh. Or perhaps the rain would bring about a massive flood and drown me, like what my parents said would happen if I didn't keep my room clean.
Suddenly, lightning struck the tree outside my window, startling me to the point where I jumped out of bed and ran into the hall, screaming. I flattened myself against the wall, my mind racing furiously. What had I done? Why was I out here, instead of in the relative safety of my bed?
Just as I made up my mind to return to my nocturnal womb, I heard a sickening "creeeeeak! KACHUNK!" as my door closed behind me. Due to the layout of my house, air currents shut my door automatically unless there is something holding it open. Despite my knowledge of its cause, that horrid sound sent a chill down my spine. I couldn't bear to open the door and hear that sound again--I would have to seek the assistance of my parents. Unfortunately, they resided on the second floor, and I on the first. I would have to reach the staircase, endure its creaks and moans, then traverse the second floor, all the while avoiding the horrifying creatures that were undoughtedly lurking in every shadow.
I crept across the floor towards the staircase, with every step certain that something would jump from the shadows and tear me to shreds.
After what seemed like an eternity, I reached the steps. I slowly lowered my foot onto the first step, which made a terrible noise I had not prepared myself for. I jumped back, wetting myself copiously, but there was no time to deal with that. The monsters would soon smell my urine on the floor, and come looking for its source. I ran up the steps, and reached the second floor.
As I reached the top of the stairs, I heard a creaking noise. I thought it was just the wind, but then I saw it--a shadow creeping steadily across the floor towards me. I ran into the spare room, slamming the double doors behind me. My mind racing furiously, I looked around frantically for something, anything to defend myself with, when I saw my father's shotgun--it was very shiny.
I poked my head out from the doorway, shotgun in hand, the rubberized soles on my footie pajamas just barely maintaining enough friction to keep the door open. I looked around for the shadow, and then I saw it--right next to the china cabinet! So it was going to steal my mothers china, eh? I knew how to deal with that!
I raised the gun to my shoulder and fired. It made a satisfying crashing noise as the shot hit the cabinet, but the shadow was going into my parents' room! I had to save them!
I ran in just in time to stop the shadow stealing my parents' favorite Matisse painting. POW! I sure showed that ghost, or shadow or whatever.
Sadly, my parents didn't see it the same way, and I am currently grounded. How could they, after I saved their sorry asses from being assimilated? I'd give them a piece of my mind, if they hadn't bought actual monsters to guard the door.