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Published just before the author left office, George's World is the (airquotes) 'best-selling' book by President George 'Dubya' Bush, outlining his ideas for the future of the USA. Although described by critics as racist, retarded, unnecessary, and evil, it has been adopted by Conservatives everywhere as one of the greatest literary works of all time.
Although professionals in the review of political publications dispute the value of the work, the general feeling among the academic community is that it is, on the whole, the largest pile of shit ever to plague the English language.
This may be partly due to the fact it was originally written primarily in green wax crayon.
In what has been described as a 'just plain retarded' move, Bush insisted that all future publications of the book were exactly as he had written it. However, it became clear that there were a number of problems with this: the costs of paying for children to write out the book in crayons was uneconomical and few could understand what was written for a start. The solutions were to include editorial notes and print the book normally, allowing the
crap work to be enjoyed by all. A clarification was also written after every section, although Conservatives say that this spoils the book and that it could easily be read without any editing or literary analysis.
People with brain cells have suggested it could be read easier if everything besides the editing and clarifications were removed.
In the sections reproduced here, the editorial notes have been added, pictures included and spelling mistakes (most of the book) omitted.
It has not been reproduced in green wax crayon.
Jorge's Gorges's George's World
(Yeah, probably best to correct the spelling for him from now on. Ed.)
My fellow Pelicans... It was Al-Qaeda.
Editorial review: Hmph. I should have stayed with Private Eye.
edit Chapter 1
The future of the United Spades of Amerika lies with oil, oil, oil, oil, oil, oil, oil, oil, oil, oil, oil, oil, oil, oil, oil, oil, oil, oil... (further repetition of 'oil' has been omitted. Ed.) With oil we can... oil.
Editorial review: I am SO not being paid enough for this.
edit Chapter 2
I'm a war president, and to continue the War on Terrier we need to send more brave troops to I-raq; at least six and a half billion of 'em. (It is believed Bush had help here: he thinks a semi-colon is what you get when you cut someone's gut in half. Ed.) I hear His voice... God says we need to, uh, (the word 'uh' is actually written. Ed.) fight them there so we don't, uh, have to fight 'em here. (Oh, uh? I have nothing to say here, actually. Just takin' up room... Ed.)
Editorial review: I could correct all of the above contractions and mispronounciations. Could.
edit Chapter π
I like pie. And gold. America should get gold... lots and lots of pretty gold...
Editorial review: I like pie? He seriously wrote that? Would make a good campaign slogan, actually.
edit Chapter 23
For the upcoming presidential erection, I intend to pass on my skills, like mathematical ability, to my successor... the Democratic candidate may be a cunning linguist, I'm a master debator and will help the world of discussion reach a climax. My oral skills make my reputation stand erect in the free world...
Editorial review: This redifines lazy; most of the jokes here were stolen from the sexual innuendo page. See for yourself!
edit Chapter 9
I wanted to invade Iran not Iraq to find their nu'ear weapons... typo on the form. My bad, lol. Hehehehehehehe! Tax cut, anyone?
Editorial review: Actually, he doesn't laugh like that. It's more along the lines of hehehehehe!
edit Chapter 7
I like pictures. In my books I only ever look at the pictures...
Editorial Review: This, in all fairness, is true. I'd be surprised if anyone is reading this now.
edit Chapter Elevently Billion
My vision for the future is...(Do you seriously want to read any more of this? Ed.)
Editorial review: Read this.
The impact of the book in the world today is minimal, mainly due to the fact it hasn't been written yet. However, sales, according to the publishers in Florida, are through the roof.
edit Further Reading
- (You want to read more? You cannot be serious. Ed.)