UnBooks:Fred

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The police, after getting many reports of a man shouting loudly, went to investigate and found Fred's daughter busy eating Fred's butt. She went along with the nice policemen. She told them this whole story. As she neared the end, one of the policemen implored, "How the fuck do you call a thing like that?" "The Aristocrats," the girl answered, "That's how my daddy always called it." She then took off what little clothes she was wearing and started seducing the policemen, later slaughtering them while they were under the impression that she was making love to them.
 
The police, after getting many reports of a man shouting loudly, went to investigate and found Fred's daughter busy eating Fred's butt. She went along with the nice policemen. She told them this whole story. As she neared the end, one of the policemen implored, "How the fuck do you call a thing like that?" "The Aristocrats," the girl answered, "That's how my daddy always called it." She then took off what little clothes she was wearing and started seducing the policemen, later slaughtering them while they were under the impression that she was making love to them.
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[[File:Debauchery-back-in-blood-2007-cd2-cover.jpg|center]]
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<div style="text-align:center;font-size:132%;font-weight:bold;margin-top:17pt;margin-bottom:19pt">
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:::''Mmm... What a tasty ending.''
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[[Category:UnBooks]]
 
[[Category:UnBooks]]

Latest revision as of 19:46, November 26, 2011

From UnBooks, the content-free textbook collection
There was once a guy loved by his family and friends. His name was Fred. This is his story.

Fred was just coming home to his beloved family...

Future Columbia Liberty

If you caught your beloved wife making out with your beloved daughter, what would you do?

When he noticed his wife making love to his daughter in their bedroom. "Well," he thought, "Isn't this a nice scenery?" He sneaked up on the lovely couple and quickly surprised his wife by inserting his penis into her anus. "Why, hello there, darling," she said, "I hadn't noticed you'd come home already." Fred didn't like this response one bit. "You didn't," he implored and added, "You fucking bitch!" Before his wife could utter her response, which would've been "Why, yes, darling, I think that's pretty obvious," Fred got his gun out of the holster which was conveniently attached to his pants at the time and shot her in her left eye. "What you gonna say now, bitch," Fred yelled at his wife's spirit as it was exiting her body. Not that Fred could see her spirit. He just yelled that because he thought it'd be appropriate. As a matter of fact, at his wife's spirit's horror, he then removed his penis from her corpse's anus and started fucking her left eye socket.

At around this time, his daughter figured out that wasn't really the best place to be at the moment, and tried to reach the door. Being as slow as she was, Fred managed to reach the door sooner, without removing his penis from his wife's corpse's left eye socket, even. "Are you leaving already," Fred implored. "The party's just getting started," he said ecstatically. As Fred was locking the door, his daughter started looking around, looking for an exit. Suddenly, she spotted a window. Still being slow, however, Fred smacked her across the room before she even had the chance to move. "No jumping out of windows for you, my dear," he said, with quite a sarcastic tone. While he moved a closet in front of the window, Fred's daughter suddenly realized there was no way out and started screaming.

"Why do girls always start screaming when the only thing it does is annoy the bad guy," Fred yelled, revealing the plot hole of most horror movies. For some reason, Fred's daughter stopped screaming and said, "I'm sorry, daddy. I didn't mean to upset you." Fred was moved by this display of sensibleness and said "Aww, that's a good girl. Now I might not have to kill you after all." "Is there anything I can do for you, daddy," the girl asked. "You can shut the fuck up. I'll tell you when I'm finished with your mother," he barked back. He then turned his look towards his wife's corpse again and took out his pocket knife. He sliced out the eye out of his wife's corpse's right eye socket and gave it to his daughter. "If you drop it, I'll kill you right now. If you eat it, I'll spare your life for now," he explained.

The daughter pondered for a couple seconds, but after a scary look from her father, she quickly gobbled up her mother's eye. After smirking at the sight of his daughter gobbling up her mother's eye, he went right back to his wife's corpse and started cutting out the nasal bone. After successfully removing it, he then inserted his penis into the cavity he had created and started fucking the corpse's brain. After getting bored fucking the brain, he took hold of it and pulled it out in one strong jerk. "Here," he said, "eat this too, will you?" After looking at the brain for a couple seconds, Fred's daughter responded, "Okay, daddy," and she gobbled up the brain in no time.

Being strangely aroused by this turn of event, Fred happily snuck his penis into his daughter's vagina, exclaiming, "Here comes daddy!" After having sex for a while and making a couple lame jokes, Fred stopped fucking his daughter and thought about what other fun he could be having. He made up his mind and quickly skinned his wife's corpse. "Daddy's going to have some fun with this skin," he said to his daughter, "you stay here and eat some of your mother's flesh, will you?" "Sure, daddy," the girl replied, anxious to eat more of her mother's body parts. After trying on his wife's skin and pushing his cock through her peehole, he put on some sexy lingerie and went back to have sex with his daughter.

As he entered the room, he saw his daughter was eating his wife's pussy. The girl looked up as Fred came forward. "Why, daddy, you look so sexy," his daughter noted. "Shut up, I don't want any snarky comments from you," he shouted back. "Open up wide, sugarcakes," he yelled as he rammed his penis into his daughter's vagina. Getting bored after a while, Fred walked around the house for a bit, with his daughter still on top of his dick, trying to concoct his most brilliant act yet. Then it struck him, or rather, he noticed his daughter sucking one of his nipples. "Stop that," he said, "I don't get a hard-on from people sucking my nipples." Then he remembered his most extravagant fetish of all. He put his wife's corpse into the fridge and announced, "We're going to the museum!"

As they were entering the museum...

800px-MUJA-Tyrannosaurus

There was a particular reason why Fred liked going to the museum so much.

The guard said, "No animals allowed, ma'am!" "Oh, but it's just my dad in a dog suit, mister guard," Fred's daughter said. "WOOF WOOF," Fred affirmed. "That sounds like ol' Fred, alright," the guard said, laughing. After some additional hilarious conversation, Fred and his daughter finally entered the museum. They bought a couple plastic dinosaurs for Fred to masturbate to. They then went to the women's restroom, where it was of course perfectly normal for women to bring their pets with them.

While waiting for the museum to close for the night, Fred spent most time masturbating to the plastic dinosaurs. Fred also managed to catch an unsuspecting female while she was powdering her nose. After brutally raping his prey, he stuffed her with the plastic dinosaurs he had bought. He first pushed a couple dinosaurs through her vagina into her uterus and then forced a dinosaur down her throat. His daughter then ate the victim's pussy and boobs. When Fred's daughter had finished her dinner, the museum was closed and the only people left to torture were the guards.

Unlike in the movie Night at the Museum, exhibits don't come to life at night, and more importantly, there's usually more than one guard. In this case, there were three, one of whom who watched the cameras when he wasn't sleeping or eating donuts. Fred and his daughter sneaked out of the women's restroom and went in search for the surveillance room. Having found it, Fred took out his butcher's knife which had been hidden in his dog suit and opened the door. Even before the guard had time to notice him entering, Fred jumped at the guard and sliced open his throat. He continued to further decapitate the guard. He then removed the cervical vertebrae and got out of his dog suit.

Still wearing his wife's skin and sexy lingerie, he put the guard's head on top of his already erect penis and cummed inside the guy's skull. He then turned to the screens and tried to locate the other guards. After succeeding to do so, he erased the tapes and switched off the power. In the darkness of the night, father and daughter then sneaked up on the guards and knocked them out cold one by one. They tied them up and Fred started skinning one guy's leg. "Here you go, sugar," he said to his daughter, "Some fresh human flesh for you to consume." He then sliced off the guard's penis, explaining, "We don't want this pathetic excuse of a sex organ to get in the way of my daughter's teeth, now do we?" He then crushed the pathetic excuse of a sex organ with his footwear.

Fred left his daughter to rip off pieces of meat off the penisless guy's leg and went towards the T-Rex skeleton, one of the exhibits at the museum. He removed the dead guard's head from his cock, as he had forgotten to take it off earlier, and climbed the skeleton until he had reached the T-Rex's skull. He then started sticking his penis into every hole he could find. The eye sockets, the nostril holes and all the other conveniently placed holes in the T-Rex's skull enjoyed a thorough sperminating. After spending a couple hours covering the T-Rex in his semen, Fred returned to the tied up guards. He observed his daughter had eaten the leg up to the bone and decided to cut open the penisless guard's stomach. He then placed the guy with the bleeding stomach on top of the other guard's head.

"Well," Fred said, "That oughta do the trick. Let's go home." Fred put on his dog suit again, and with the femur of the guard that had greeted him and his daughter earlier that day in his mouth, he happily walked homewards, with his lovely daughter by his side. Once they got home, the pair went upstairs and started fucking each other again. With penis and vagina still strangling eachother in passionate love, the unlikely couple finally fell asleep.

The following morning...

Mosque.Qibla.01

Fred had always wondered what a mosque looked like from the inside.

As soon as Fred opened his eyes, he shouted, "We're eating your mother for breakfast," at his daughter. "Yummy," his daughter replied. Fred cooked his wife's meat and ate it with great delight, as did his daughter. After finishing their meal, Fred shouted, "Today, we're going to the mosque! Prepare the burqas!" Thus the pair set out in their burqas, friendly waving at the people that stared at them while they were walking past. Most of those people quickly averted their gazes, though many started staring again when Fred and his daughter had their backs turned. Finally arriving at the local mosque, they entered and looked for a spot from which they could draw the Muslims' attention.

They noticed all the Muslims were facing a particular wall, so they positioned themselves with their backs against this wall and pulled out their Kalashnikovs. "Alright, you Muslims," Fred shouted, "I'm your motherfuckin' Allah and if anyone disobeys my commands I'll fuckin' blow your brains out! Are there any disbelievers I should kill right now?" Baffled by this latest revelation, the Muslims all bowed before Fred. "Stand up and remove all your clothes, Allah commands it," Fred shouted at the confused Muslims.

After the Muslims had obediently removed all their clothes, Fred announced, "Congratulations! You have now entered Paradise! Your dream to have gay sex is now allowed according to Islamist law. What are you waiting for?" After hearing these happiness-inducing words, all the Muslims started having gay sex. A couple minutes later, however, Fred was already getting bored, so he said to the Muslims, "Did I mention that you're supposed to literally eat each other's genitals when having gay sex? Do it!" Fred relaxed and enjoyed the view for a while.

But then his daughter inquired, "Daddy, do we get to do something fun too?" Fred suddenly realized the wrongness of his ways and said, "Muslims, stop what you're doing right now!" "I just thought of a nice game," he continued, "Building a pyramid!" At Fred's command, they all started crawling on top of each other until a huge pyramid had been constructed. Fred lifted up his burqa and started peeing all over the Muslims. "Wanna join the fun, sugar," he asked his daughter. "I don't need to pee," she said. "Alright, alright, you can pick a female one and eat it," Fred told his daughter. "Yay, thanks, daddy," she replied.

When Fred had finished peeing, cumming and defecating all over the Muslim pyramid, he grabbed inside his burqa and as if by magic, he produced a jerrycan. He then covered them all in gasoline. Fred then started looking inside his burqa again and randomly stumbled upon a flamethrower. "By Allah, what a fortunate find," he yelled in excitement. He aimed for the huge Muslim pyramid and set it ablaze. A tear escaped from Fred's eyes as he watched the Muslim faggots burn. After watching the fireworks together as all the Muslims exploded along with their implanted explosives, Fred's daughter nibbling on a tiny snack, the lovely couple returned homewards.

But all good things...

Must come to an end. Just like the previous night, father and daughter started fucking each other, hard. However, while Fred's daughter was giving him a blowjob, she did something Fred didn't exactly enjoy. More precisely, she bit off his penis and swallowed it. While Fred was screaming in pain, kicking around with his arms and legs, his daughter ripped open his throat with her sharp teeth and the screams died away instantly. She then went to get her daddy's butcher's knife and cut open his chest. She took out the still beating heart and consumed it immediately.

The police, after getting many reports of a man shouting loudly, went to investigate and found Fred's daughter busy eating Fred's butt. She went along with the nice policemen. She told them this whole story. As she neared the end, one of the policemen implored, "How the fuck do you call a thing like that?" "The Aristocrats," the girl answered, "That's how my daddy always called it." She then took off what little clothes she was wearing and started seducing the policemen, later slaughtering them while they were under the impression that she was making love to them.

Debauchery-back-in-blood-2007-cd2-cover
Mmm... What a tasty ending.
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