UnBooks:Cookbook/How to Cook Filipino Food

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

This article may be Overly Filipino. "O RLY?" ~ Owl on this article.

Note: For those of you who aren't Filipino, and wondered "What the fuck is this shit?", see Philippine Cuisine.

Filipino Cuisine is definitely the best in the world. You could admit that, they used dogs and cats as food? Or perhaps you can try the aborted duck fetus sold in China? Well, you came to the right place for Filipino and Chinese cuisine.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Cuisine of the Philippines.

WARNING: Not suitable for Muslims. If you're Muslim or Jewish, do not read this. I repeat, do NOT read this.

edit Adobo

How Adobo is served

A nice tasty meal that serves for 5 people (or 25 people)

edit Ingredients

• 1/2 pound (256g) of meat (dog, cat, chicken, ANYTHING that is animal flesh- even human beings!)
• Two cloves of Garlic
• Crushed Ginger (the herb, idiot)
• 3 1/2 imperial fluid ounces (150ml) Vinegar

edit Method

• Slice the meat into bite-sized pieces (if you're lucky, slice your finger off)
• Smother it in vinegar, ginger and garlic, motherfucker!
• Cook it in high heat for 15 minutes.
• Serve and eat. Just make sure that the meat you use isn't your dog or cat!

edit Balut

“Fuck, Filipinos have the shittiest kind of cuisine in the world. Some are tasty, but some you will fucking regret”

~ Gordon Ramsey on Balut

This will put you off from eating eggs now, and you'll never eat eggs again.

Serves about a dozen people

edit Ingredients

• A dozen of aborted/premature duck egg that still has a duck inside it. Yes, a fertilised duck egg.

edit Method

• See How To Boil an Egg for more information.
• After boling the eggs, serve it with soy sauce.
• Make your friends squeal with shock!

edit Bicol Express

Not to be confused for the train of the same name. One bite will make your head asplode

WARNING: VERY SPICY! READERS ARE DISCOURAGED FROM MAKING IT

edit Ingredients

• Chili
• More Chili
• Even More Chili
• Coconut

edit Method

• Chop the chilies
• Cook it in coconut milk
• Eat!

edit DISCLAIMER

We are not responsible if you die as a result of eating the foods listed here.

edit See Also

• Philippine Cuisine
• Food