UnBooks:Choose Your Own Adventure:One Ordinary Day/FuckBall
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"Yeah, you all are right, it would be stupid of me to actually try and go over and get the ball," you agree with your friends.
"And it would be even stupider of you to NOT go get the ball," your best friend Tony says, looking moderately angry.
"But Old Man McHiggins' yard is across 4 lanes of heavy traffic," you speak back. "Plus, there's McHiggins himself," you add.
"Well, if that's your decision, I guess we'll have to play a different game for recess," Tony says. "Hmmm... how about, 'PEG THE WEENIE!'
Well, this is bad news. You hate playing peg the weenie. Mainly because you are always democratically selected as said weenie. And yet you feel that if only you had the chance to peg a different weenie, you could finally endear yourself to your friends. But, you do have one saving grace now that you think about it.
"Ha, but we always play 'Peg the Weenie' with the basketball, which is now in McHiggins' yard. Looks like we can't play," you happily tell everyone.
Just then, a tomato cart that was being driven past the school loses traction, and tumbles headlong right onto the playground. Screams can be heard from all over the playground, and the teachers run over to the driver to see if he is ok. You see Tony get a gleam in his eye, and suddenly half of your class has tomatoes in their hands. In all of the excitement you have forgotten to mention your debilitating allergy to tomatoes to your class. Before you have a chance to speak up, two dozen tomatoes are being hurled in your direction. One hits you square in the cheek, and you immediately feel the effects. Boils and sores pop up on your face, and you begin to swell. Your tongue is already twice the size that it should be. You run towards your friends to tell them to stop, but they take your sputters and gruesome appearance as an attack, and more and more tomatoes are hurled in your direction. Before long you are unable to breathe from your engorged tongue, and still more tomatoes are being thrown.
The teachers eventually begin to gain back control of the students, and everyone is rushed back inside to clean up. No one seems to notice the lump of red mush that your body now makes. It seems that all the tomatoes, along with the boils gives your body the exact look of a pile of smashed up tomatoes. The next day, the cleanup crew comes and cleans up the big mess. Unfortunately they are one of those, "Ask no Questions" types of cleanup crew. Your body is never found.
|You Are Dead|