UnBooks:Choose Your Own Adventure:One Ordinary Day/AttackWithWords

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"Unhand my mother you brute!" you boom your pre-pubescent voice at him. He looks surprised that you are here, as does your mother.

"Oh, geez... Tom, remind me to get my money back from that Simmons kid before we get out of here," your mom says to the stranger. "I tell you, hired help these days..."

"Ma, are you alright? Has he hurt you?" you ask her.

"Alright?! ALRIGHT?! Tom has made me happy for the first time in years. I never thought I would be happy again, after having to care for you all these years. I mean, you would think a kid would have a single talent, but you... you got nuthin'. No talent, no nothin'."

"So.... he hasn't hurt you?" you innocently ask again.

"Gahhh! Tom, get in the buggy baby. I'll meet you out there in a minute." The stranger said nothing, but showed his pleasure by stroking his exorbitantly large mustache in an extremely seductive manner. He walked out of the doorway a minute or so later, after taking some time to think about how he could do it without hitting the stache on the doorway.

"Look, kid," your mom starts, pointing her finger at your chest, "I never wanted to be a mom, and certainly not yours. When your father died- God fuck his soul -I figured his parents would take you or something, but for once in their lives they decided to butt out. Ridiculous. And you just so happened to be the most annoying, bratty, hard to potty train kid in the world. I have always resented you, and I have never loved you. I know you aren't all quite there with the smart genes, but I hope that somehow your idiot brain can realize that you are a worthless piece of garbage, and you deserve to die. I'm leaving with Tom. You can keep the house, or whatever, I don't care. I had nothing but misery here anyway. Goodbye. I hate you." She then picks up her luggage, and walks out of the house.

You hear the clippaty-clap of horses running on blacktop a few seconds after she leaves. It takes years of intense therapy to wrap your head around everything she just said...

Looks like the day wasn't so ordinary after all.


You Are Dead...
on the inside.
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