Jesus
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(Redirected from Ultra Jesus)
The Sacred Host of Major Jesii
| Fear their wrath, and beware their confusing names. If you are confused about which one you want, it's probably Original Jesus. | |
| Original Jesus: Hey, hey, hey, it's the Jee Man himself; the one who started it all! | Don't care if it rains or freezes? You need Plastic Jesus |
| Jebus: Original Jesus's Crackhead Twin Half-Brother | Jesus was a brutha: Black Jesus |
| Jesus H. Christ: The 56th president of the US | Jesus saves (leftovers): Jesusware |
| Evil Jesus: Drunken saviour, friend of whores and thieves. | Your own: Personal Jesus |
| Jesus Christ Sponge: Purge sin and clean your dishes! | ¿Qué?: Jesús |
| Jesus Hasselhoff: He's everywhere! | Pictorial retrospective of the Life and Times of: Lorem Ipsum Jesus |
| Ultra Jesus: All Jesii wrapped into one | Back with a vengeance! Zombie Jesus |
| Canadian Jesus: The Second Coming! | Rawr! Raptor Jesus |
| Cheesus: Lord of all that is lactose. | Not To Be Confused With Super-Gay Jesus: Gay Jesus |
| Jesus was Christian, NOT Jewish: Enough said. | |
The Sacred Host of Minor Jesii
| Fear their wrath, and beware their confusing names. If you are confused about which one you want to know to know to know to know it is it is yes. babs, it's probably Original Jesus. | ||
| Disco Jesus: Knows how to love you | Invented economic theory: Supply-side Jesus | |
| Jesus of Nazareth: Singer and Songwriter | The Passion of the Jew: Kyle Broflovski | |
| Dark Jesus: Parallel Universe Jesus | Something musical: The Artist Formerly Known As Jesus | |
| Jesus Christ - Alcoholic: Just like daddy. | Member of the Carpenters: Jeez | |
| Jesus Fucking Christ: Working class hero and modern day sage | Semi-Jesus anthropormorphic personification: Messiah | |
| Super Jebus: Western Sydney pimp | He screams! He sells! His head EXPLODES! BILLY MAYS | |
| Jesus Marx: Illegal Commie Clone | Elemental Jesus: Je (element) | |
| Republican Jesus: Has a "W" sticker on his SUV | An alpha prototype Christ: Jesus 1.5a | |
| Hide and Go Jesus: The hardest one to find | That one in that band...Nightmare Cinema or something: Jesus LaBrie | |
| Jihad Jesus: جهاد عيسي | Raise one family and you will be a believer: Pet Jesus | |
| Stephen Colbert: Smiting Bears for in God's name | Patron Jesus of Crocodiles: Steve Irwin | |
| Ultimate Jesus: Designed by God to be the ultimate fighting machine | He's blonde, cultish, and believes in racial purity. No, it's not a Nazi, it's: Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints | |
| MC Jesus: The Jewish Rap Sensation | Blue in hue and bereft of beard too: Bizarro Jesus | |
| Sweet smoking Jesus: What would Jesus smoke? | Bow to ye savior or walk the plank ye scurvy dogs: Captain Jesus | |
| Accordion Jesus: Saves you from pop music. | But what If Jesus had lived in America | |
The So-So Company of Other Jesii
| Fear their wrath, and beware their contrived names. If you are still confused about which one you want, you were probably much better off with Original Jesus. | |
| Monster Jesii | |
|---|---|
| Jesusaurus Rex: The tyrant Jesus...lizard | Save yourself from Werejesus! |
| Raptor Jesus: Nazareth Park is frightening in the dark | And they said Jesus rode on a Mule...Nyah!:Llama Jesus |
| Attack of the 500 foot Jesus: Demolishing non-blessed skyscrapers -- New York, watch out! | This Jesus loves your brains...: Zombie Jesus |
| Munchie Jesii | |
| Jam Jesus: With a name like 'Jam Jesus', it has to be good. | Savour the Saviour: Cheese Jesus |
| Jesus Juice: An Energy Drink...IT'S GOT ELECTROLYTES! | Finally, something on a stick the whole family can enjoy!: Sweet Jesus on a Stick! |
| Jesus Related Locations. | |
| Jesusland | Red States |
| Jesus Ocean | Israel |
The Abandoned Hallway of Unwanted Jesii
| Pity them, and feed them table scraps. If you are still confused about which one you want... then you're fucking retarded, bitch! | |
| Bad Jesii | |
|---|---|
| Latios: The False Messiah and proclaimed friend of Jesus. | All Jesii wrapped into no-one: Atheist Jesus |
| Et Jesus: 32-bit Protected Trinity | Sabbath Night Fever: The Bee-Jesus |
| Piss Christ: Ewww! | You crack my back, I'll crack yours: Chiropractor Jesus |
| Djesus: French Jesus | Irelands Most Popular Jesus: Bjesus |
| Evil Jesus: Careful of this Jesus | "Promoting God's chain of Churches: "McJesus |
| Prehistoric Jesus: The find of the century. | The real reason Christ was crucified: Jesus of Jerusalem |
| Morbus Jesus: The itchiest of the lot | And for anyone we've missed out on: Society of Jesus |
Original Jesus was said to be emo.
This is evident from his self harming, which can be seen on his hands and feet
This is evident from his self harming, which can be seen on his hands and feet
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