Ultimate raping machine

Ultimate Raping Machine is the God of raping moving objects in ancient Greek mythology. Not much is known about him from ancient texts, but from archaeological evidence scholars have determined him to be the child of Aphrodite and 12 other male Gods. Ultimate Raping Machine is commonly depicted in pottery, flying down from mount Olympus and raping everything to near death. He is often shown camouflaged or part buried, lying in wait for someone who he can commit his holy rape on.

Ultimate Raping Machine part buried in the dirt, caught hiding

Birth

The myth surrounding the birth of Ultimate Raping Machine is peculiar in relation to the birth of other Greek Gods and Goddesses. The myth goes that during the courtship of Aphrodite by Hephaestos, everyone decided to have a gangbang. During this Ultimate Raping Machine was conceived, and as such it is unclear as to who his father truly is. The God was never born, instead he raped his way out of the womb. He grew up chained to a tree because of his sheer rape-ness.

Signs that he is coming for YOU

• You hear a low pitched humming noise when you:
  • Move
  • Open your mouth
  • Aren't wearing underwear
• You keep seeing dicks everywhere
• You have a dream about an animal that is half prawn, half dick - that's his sign
• Something keeps poking you in the arse

Warning signs such as these will allow you sufficient time to find a solution. Its the only way out of a raping.

Modern Interpretations

In recent times, with the advent of the internet; information about Ultimate Raping Machine has been distributed more and more. One famous example, a photo depicting an encounter with Ultimate Raping Machine is Goa Tse. Today, because of laws made by a politician most of Ultimate Raping Machine's more traditional pastimes are very illegal, so Ultimate Raping Machine generally operates in secret.

How to participate

Ultimate Raping Machine will get to you at some point. BE PATIENT.