Ultimate Yahtzee

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Ultimate Yahtzee

The newer Ultimate Team Yahtzee has proven to be popular around the world. Here, the Scottish national team, known for its measured, conservative play, takes on Malaysia in the first round of the 3rd International Games held in Wembley Stadium.

~ Oscar Wilde on Ultimate Yahtzee

Ultimate Yahtzee is a U.S.-based dice and mixed martial arts competition. Players in the sport use combinations of letters, numbers and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

edit What is Ultimate Yahtzee?

Early UY events were eight- or sixteen-man tournaments wherein participants were required to beat three opponents in a single evening to be crowned Ultimate Yahtzee Champion.

With no weight classes, players could find themselves facing opponents who were significantly larger and taller than themselves - these kind of fights are referred to as 'Freak Fights' by UY enthusiasts.

"YAHTZEE!" said the famous tagline, after being coined by the infamous Yahtzaru, David Hasselhoff. Hasslehoff, himself the first Ultimate Yahtzee champion has become the public face of the sport, often representing the much maligned sport to the media.

It has become a common misconception that Ultimate Yahtzee matches operate with no rules, although this is untrue; participants abide by a limited set of rules; techniques such as hair pulling and groin strikes are frowned upon, but valid.

edit Ultimate Yahtzee – then and now

The brutal nature of the burgeoning sport quickly drew the attention of the authorities and UY events were banned in almost all American states. To survive, the Ultimate Yahtzee Council redesigned its rules to remove the less palatable elements of fights, whilst still retaining the core elements of eye gouging and decapitation. Five minute rounds, referee stoppages, weight classes and limitations on permissible striking areas gradually found the championship becoming more approachable to newcomers, although the 36 sided alphanumeric die still strikes fear into the hearts of those contemplating participation.

Today, Ultimate Yahtzee Championship events have become very popular in places like Japan, Brazil, Canada, and the United States, where matches are often seen on television's Pay Per View system. In the United States, championship fights are usually held in Las Vegas or Atlantic City, much like in boxing and time travelling.

edit How to compete in Ultimate Yahtzee

Getting into Ultimate Yahtzee requires little in the way of specialist equipment. The 36 sided die is a given, but will often be provided to beginners joining UY clubs. Additionally, a novice may often feel more comfortable in a Judo giko, or perhaps mail- or kevlar-based armour.

When starting to play, it is unnecessary to provide one's own weapons, with 'open hand' being a popular beginner style. As contenders progress and face more accomplished opponents, they sometimes find it convenient to provide a bladed weapon - wakizashi and daisho are favoured as well as curved European cavalry sabres. Generally, ranged weapons are considered too slow and unwieldy to be of use - one should not, for any reason, attempt to engage in a match with a medieval English longbow.

Some players have begun to work small, portable time compression devices (known in the circle as "flux capacitors") into their routines. UY is truly embracing the future, and fans can only hope that Mr. Hasslehoff will return to the ring to once again roll the big numbers (or a Z) and shout triumphantly, "YAHTZEE!"

edit Ultimate Team Yahtzee

As if there weren’t already enough bloodshed in the world, warped and greedy minds created Ultimate Team Yahtzee. It is nearly identical to Ultimate Yahtzee down to the dice and little scoring pads. However, the team game has 16 players a side, 3 on-field referee/officials located in strategically placed bunkers, 2 off-field judges with stacks of scoring pads and any convenient field that does not have holes larger than 1 meter across and 3 meters deep. Thus, some of the earliest games were arranged in order to clear minefields. The spectators went wild over the carnage that ensued even though those games tended to be very short.

Hasselhoff’s Hasslers won every game the first season since he had copyrighted the rules and let no one else see them. The other teams finally caught on the next year. The team from Monaco won the championship, having hired all the Hassler players while emptying out Europe’s worst prisons for players, referees and league officials. So, it’s just like World Cup soccer, then, except with dice and no red cards.

edit See also

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