Users not with the Grue Army:YOU ARE IN RESTRICTED USERSPACE. YOU MUST LAND. Land at hangar 31. IRC CHAN is here. JAVA APPLET FOR IRC CHAN IS HERE.
“...And now we live in the mausoleum of history. And yet, at some point we must remember what we are fighting for. Back when I was a n00b, I remember. I remember Uncyclopedia. I remember stories of a glorious website. Of veterans with articles that reached the highest regard. Of a humorous wiki, with vast seas of good articles. Of a people who created the myths of Benson everlasting. Of users, who, when they looked into the remains of deleted articles, saw the future of their home. And they hurled themselves into the void of infinibanning with no fear. They say our group has no future, only a past filled with vandals. And a future we can only dream of... ...Now, we forge a new Alliance. A new Alliance to guard the tomb of what is Uncyclopedia. For the hope lies that within its cold expanse we may find the salvation of our wiki...”
~ High Gen. Meganew, Leader of the Grue Army on the group's motives
“There is no sin except stupidity.” ~ Oscar Wilde on vandalism
If you want to keep your article from being ICU'd, QVFD'd, or VFD'd place {{contruction}} on your article. Or you can make a user sub-page like User:<insert name here>/Article WIP.
If you need help, you can go to The Help forum, or this place. Please follow, and read the link in BIG LETTERS.
Other ways to get help include:
Asking a Grue Army member (We won't eat you, don't worry.)
Bribe Ask an sysop. They might know.
Try IRC, or the dump, a few users are willing to help you there.
If you would like other's opinion on your articles, send a request in Pee Review.
Before editing, read HTBFANJS, BGBU, and many others. The more, the better your article's chances will be.
If you want to vandalize, the Grue Army will come upon you, DESTROY your edits, and report you to Ban Patrol for banning. If you would like to report a vandal, go here.
If you would like to be educated by an experienced user, ask about being adopted. Go to Adopt-a-noob although I like to think of n00bs as "New users." Go to Uncyclopedia:AAN/Adopters to see a list of people wanting to adopt.
Report all vandals that you find (if you want) here. Please add a description of what they are doing. Old ones that will be back may as well be placed here as well, just to help people identify socks. When reporting users report them as {{User|<username here>}} and IP's as {{IP|<IP address here>}} and remember to sign your post. Once a vandal's activity has ceased for over 3 months, he may be removed from this list.
UPDATE: Please specify what you believe the threat level of the vandal is. There are currently 4 threat levels:
Class A: Major vandal, has lots of sockpuppets, vandalizes lots of pages, seems to never take a break.
Class B: Same as above, but is using less sockpuppets or most have been banned.
Class C: Minor vandal, has a minimal amount of sockpuppets, blanks pages or does annoying stuff and won't listen to rebuttals.
Class D: Annoying Vandal, has a varying amount of sockpuppets, doesn't really vandalize much with them, blanks one or two pages with each before they're banned.
Gomphog - This user is really stupid, recreating deleted articles, and using a lot of unimaginatively named sockpuppets. Look for users with a name ending in -omphog, as those are normally his. He is a minor nuisance and considered a Class D threat. --High Gen.Meganew(Stuff I've Done)(Chat With Me)(Get an Award!)FORCESENLISTMUN 00:52, November 10, 2010 (UTC)