Uncyclopedia:Accuracy

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For those [who?] without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about A for Accuracy[experts needed].
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This page is considered a most holy and sacred commandment of Uncyclopedia (peace and prayers be upon it).[citation needed]
If you [who?] do not accept it, you[who?] must burn in Hell for eternity.[Never Heard of This]

This article may contain one or more inaccuracies or does not cite all of its sources.[citation needed]
The author(s) must promptly be executed.[Never Heard of This] Uncyclopedia contains no inaccuracies.[Never Heard of This]
This template may also be inaccurate.[Never Heard of This]
Uncyclopedia is not Wikipedia[wikipedia needed].


Uncyclopedia is the truth[1]. Therefore, everything in Uncyclopedia is true[citation needed]. If something in Uncyclopedia is not true[citation needed], then it must be corrected so that it is true[citation needed]. However, this will never be necessary because everything in Uncyclopedia is true[citation needed]. [The Cake is a Lie.][citation needed]

Contents

[edit] The Golden Age of Information: Pax Uncyclopædia[citation needed]

“It makes me want to scream, shout, celebrate, cry and laugh, to know that I[who?] live in the Age of Uncyclopedia, the most glorious period of human[who?] history, in which all is illuminated.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Pax Uncyclopædia[citation needed]

We[who?] live in the Pax Uncyclopædia[citation needed]: Uncyclopedia is filled with informative content of indubitable veracity[citation needed]. This unmatched accuracy was a product of a most ingenious technique[citation needed]. The Founding Fathers[who?] of Uncyclopedia foresaw that people would despise authority--that they will do whatever they were told not to do.[citation needed] So, the Founders[who?], in their infinite wisdom[citation needed], used reverse psychology[2] They asked for the world to write nonsense or humor and received Pure Knowledge instead.[Never Heard of This]

[edit] Repentance of Heretics[citation needed]

Some unusual seating arrangements were made for the visitors to the Palace of Knowledge.[citation needed]

Some[who?] have questioned the factual accuracy of Uncyclopedia.[citation needed] In September 2000[citation needed] , they[who?] were invited to a friendly debate with the Lord High Inquisitor in the Palace of Knowledge[citation needed], a medieval torture chamber purchased by the Uncyclomedia Foundation[who?] and converted into a luxurious dining hall[citation needed] , complete with amenities such as warmed chairs and electrical stimulation devices for the resuscitation of those who have fainted (physically or metaphorically)[citation needed]. After several days, during which screams of joy (at realizing the truth) were heard from the Palace, the truth-deniers repented[3][citation needed] .

[edit] Scientific Research[Never Heard of This]

Many studies have been done to prove the accuracy of Uncyclopedia[citation needed]. According to the prestigious pee-reviewed journal Phallological Transactions of the Society for Marine Astronomy, Uncyclopedia contains up to 23.8% fewer errors than the Iraqi Ministry of Information[4] The Uncyclomedia Foundation also performed its own objective study, which found that 103.8532% of the information in Uncyclopedia was "250% true." [5]

[edit] Cite Your Sources or Die[citation needed]

To ensure superior credibility[citation needed], (if you[who?] can be bothered to do so) all sources must be cited[citation needed]. (Write {{cn}} at the end of every sentence that doesn't have a citation[citation needed]; It will show that what was being said is really a big fat greek lie[citation needed].[big fat greek lie]) All articles that do not have proper citations will be instantly deleted[Never Heard of This] and its authors[who?] will be devoured by those scary rainbow things[who?] that I keep on seeing everywhere.[citation needed][6]

You[who?] must use MLA format for some citations[Never Heard of This]. Unfortunately, for some mysterious reason that we[who?] cannot even begin to understand, the Modern Language Association has failed to create a format for some obviously reliable sources[citation needed]. For those, use these Uncyclopedia guidelines[guidelines needed].

[edit] Controlled Substances[citation needed]

  • Hallucinogens should be cited with the following format:
    • Name of Drug(s). Dose. Last Name of Drug Dealer, First Name of Drug Dealer. City Taken In, Year.
    • LSD. 200 µg. Guy, Some. Los Angeles, 2002.
  • Non-hallucinogenic drugs are not considered as accurate as hallucinogenic drugs[...more nee..]. However, you may cite them with the same format as hallucinogens provided that you take a very large dose[...Flying hello ok...]. To figure out what that dose would be, take hallucinogens and ask whomever[who?] you meet during your trip[....what...am...I...here].

[edit] Electronic Sources

  • SPAM emails:
    • Last Name of Sender, First Name of Sender[who?]. "Title of Email." Email Address of Sender. Date Received.
    • Wilde, Oscar. "I am the truth"[citation needed] ithinkthereforeipwn@xanga.com 25 December 2005.

[edit] Interesting People Whom You Meet

For the protection of the privacy of the valuable experts who serve the greater good of our society[who?], Uncyclopedia does not require that you provide the name of your sources[Never Heard of This]. You can just give a description of them[I think he had two arms and a nose].

  • One Person:
    • Description of Person. Year.
    • That Guy Who[who?] Was Passed Out and Smelled of Vodka. 1998.
    • That Person the Martians[who?] Want to Get. 2002.
  • One person being channeled through another person[who?] through the nether realm or the Netherlands or whatever...:
    • Last Name of Channeler, First Name. Name of Person Channeled. Means of Channeling. Year.
    • Frenya, Skeezo. Chief Jaguar-on-Crack of the Ancient Toltecs[who?]. Yahoo Messenger (Occult Edition). 1998.

[edit] When Should I Cite Sources?

A good rule of thumb to follow is to always cite sources when you have a sentence with the letter "e" in it[Never Heard of This][7]. This rule will always work, unless you have a sentence without the letter "e."[citation needed] If that happens, just cite the source[citation needed].

For example, let's say that you were adding content to the article You:

"You[who?] have a small penis [1].[citation needed] 'You' has 3 letters [2].[citation needed] An ant is absurd [3].[citation needed] The last sentence did not have an 'e' in it [citation needed].

References

  • [1] Spears, Britney. "EW! YOUR PENIS IS TOO SMALL-TRY OUR PENIS ENLARGEMENT PILLS." [citation needed]Spamalot@fakedomain.tk. 25 December 2005.
  • [2]'you' The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 205.[citation needed]
  • [3] Anonymous. The Anti-Insect Manifesto. London: Elite Press, 1337.[citation needed]


[edit] Miscellaneous Sources

If[citation needed] you[citation needed] frequently find yourself[who?] conversing with giant cats who terrorize cities, you can use the cat's wisdom to improve the accuracy of our[who?] encyclopedia,[Never Heard of This] but only if you cite your sources[Of course you can't!].
  • Demonic Possession:
    • Name or Description of Demon. Date of Possession.
    • Ethereal Dinosaur with Multiple Horns. 5 May 1999.
  • Them. We at Uncyclopedia understand what you mean by Them[citation needed]. We hear their howls too [citation needed]. Just use this format:
    • Them. Date.
  • Animals. Only fools don't realize that they can talk.
    • Species of Animal. 'Title of Communication.' Date.
    • Loch Ness Monster. 'Beware of geese.' 1873.
  • The Voices in Your Head can make valuable contributions to our encyclopedia[8]
    • The Voices in My Head. Location. Date.

[edit] Higher Standards

The [citation needed] next[citation needed] goal[citation needed] for[citation needed] Uncyclopedia[citation needed] is[citation needed] to [citation needed]attain[citation needed] 800% truth [citation needed]-1200% fiction[Never Heard of This]. In order to achieve this goal by 2010,[citation needed] every[citation needed][9] word[citation needed][10] in[11] Uncyclopedia[citation needed][citation needed][citation needed][citation needed][citation needed] should[12] be[13] cited[14]. By 2012, e[15]v[16]e[17]r[18]y[19] l[20]e[21]t[22]t[23]e[24]r[25] w[26]i[27]l[28]l[29] b[30]e[31] c[32]i[33]t[34]e[35]d[36][37]. This[citation needed] will[citation needed] help[citation needed] us[citation needed] achieve [citation needed]2600% accuracy [citation needed].

[edit]

References[citation needed][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This][Never Heard of This]

  1. ↑ "Uncyclopedia:Accuracy." {No it's not}Uncyclopedia, the Content-Free Encyclopedia. Candyland: Uncyclomedia Foundation, 2007. 2 January, 2007. <http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Uncyclopedia:Accuracy>.[citation needed]
  2. ↑ Conversation with my friend who thinks that straightjackets are fashionable. 1996.
  3. ↑ "Conference on Accuracy with Inquisition Yields Surprising Results" (2006). Unnews.
  4. ↑ Baghdad, Bob (5 June 2001). "Statistical Analysis of Uncyclopedic Accuracy." Phallological Transactions of the Society for Marine Astronomy. Oxford: Oxford Dairy Farms Press, 1999.
  5. ↑ "Official Report." Uncyclopedic Committee on Factual Accuracy[who?]. Candyland: Uncyclomedia Foundation, 2000.
  6. ↑ Shrooms (Psilocybin). 40 g. Homie, My. New York, 2006.
  7. ↑ "Official Manual on Style." Uncyclopedic Committee on Factual Accuracy. Candyland: Uncyclomedia Foundation, 2000.
  8. ↑ The Voices in My Head. A Portable Toilet. 1992.
  9. ↑ "every." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 205
  10. ↑ "word." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 1112
  11. ↑ "in." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 452
  12. ↑ "should." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 812
  13. ↑ "be." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 210
  14. ↑ "cite." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 303
  15. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  16. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  17. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  18. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  19. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  20. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  21. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  22. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  23. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  24. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  25. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  26. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  27. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  28. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  29. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  30. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.[citation needed]
  31. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  32. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  33. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  34. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  35. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  36. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  37. ↑ "Yet Another Official Report".[citation needed] Uncyclopedic Committee on Factual Accuracy. Candyland: Uncyclomedia Foundation, 2000.
Quasi-Featured Article (01:43, 1 June 2007 (UTC))
This article was nominated to become a featured article[citation needed]; however, due to a voting discrepancy in Florida[citation needed [citation needed]] involving Oprah[citation needed] and an Empyrean[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much], it didn't make the cut (12/20)[citation needed]. It's the thought that counts, right?[citation needed] You can prevent Oprah's nefarious plans from working by voting for other articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH[citation needed].


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