Uncyclopedia:Accuracy

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This page is considered a most holy and sacred commandment of Uncyclopedia (peace and prayers be upon it).[big fat lie]
If you do not accept it, you must burn in Hell for eternity.[big fat lie]

This article may contain one or more inaccuracies or does not cite all of its sources.[big fat lie]
The author(s) must promptly be executed.[big fat lie] Uncyclopedia contains no inaccuracies.[big fat lie]
This template may also be inaccurate.[big fat lie]
Uncyclopedia is not Wikipedia[wikipedia needed].


Uncyclopedia is the truth[1]. Therefore, everything in Uncyclopedia is true[big fat lie]. If something in Uncyclopedia is not true[big fat lie], then it must be corrected so that it is true[big fat lie]. However, this will never be necessary because everything in Uncyclopedia is true[big fat lie]. [The Cake is a Lie.][big fat lie]

Contents

[edit] The Golden Age of Information: Pax Uncyclopædia[big fat lie]

“It makes me want to scream, shout, celebrate, cry and laugh, to know that I live in the Age of Uncyclopedia, the most glorious period of human history, in which all is illuminated.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Pax Uncyclopædia[big fat lie]

We live in the Pax Uncyclopædia[big fat lie]: Uncyclopedia is filled with informative content of indubitable veracity[big fat lie]. This unmatched accuracy was a product of a most ingenious technique[big fat lie]. The Founding Fathers of Uncyclopedia foresaw that people would despise authority--that they will do whatever they were told not to do.[big fat lie] So, the Founders, in their infinite wisdom[big fat lie], used reverse psychology[2] They asked for the world to write nonsense or humor and received Pure Knowledge instead.[big fat lie]

[edit] Repentance of Heretics[big fat lie]

Some unusual seating arrangements were made for the visitors to the Palace of Knowledge.[big fat lie]

Some have questioned the factual accuracy of Uncyclopedia.[big fat lie] In September 2000[big fat lie] , they were invited to a friendly debate with the Lord High Inquisitor in the Palace of Knowledge[big fat lie], a medieval torture chamber purchased by the Uncyclomedia Foundation and converted into a luxurious dining hall[big fat lie] , complete with amenities such as warmed chairs and electrical stimulation devices for the resuscitation of those who have fainted (physically or metaphorically)[big fat lie]. After several days, during which screams of joy (at realizing the truth) were heard from the Palace, the truth-deniers repented[3][big fat lie] .

[edit] Scientific Research[big fat lie]

Many studies have been done to prove the accuracy of Uncyclopedia[big fat lie]. According to the prestigious pee-reviewed journal Phallological Transactions of the Society for Marine Astronomy, Uncyclopedia contains up to 23.8% fewer errors than the Iraqi Ministry of Information[4] The Uncyclomedia Foundation also performed its own objective study, which found that 103.8532% of the information in Uncyclopedia was "250% true." [5]

[edit] Cite Your Sources or Die[big fat lie]

To ensure superior credibility[big fat lie], (if you can be bothered to do so) all sources must be cited[big fat lie]. (Write {{cn}} at the end of every sentence that doesn't have a citation[big fat lie]; It will show that what was being said is really a big fat greek lie[big fat lie].[big fat greek lie]) All articles that do not have proper citations will be instantly deleted[big fat lie] and its authors will be devoured by those scary rainbow things that I keep on seeing everywhere.[big fat lie][6]

You must use MLA format for some citations[big fat lie]. Unfortunately, for some mysterious reason that we cannot even begin to understand, the Modern Language Association has failed to create a format for some obviously reliable sources[big fat lie]. For those, use these Uncyclopedia guidelines[guidelines needed].

[edit] Controlled Substances[big fat lie]

  • Hallucinogens should be cited with the following format:
    • Name of Drug(s). Dose. Last Name of Drug Dealer, First Name of Drug Dealer. City Taken In, Year.
    • LSD. 200 µg. Guy, Some. Los Angeles, 2002.
  • Non-hallucinogenic drugs are not considered as accurate as hallucinogenic drugs[...more nee..]. However, you may cite them with the same format as hallucinogens provided that you take a very large dose[...Flying hello ok...]. To figure out what that dose would be, take hallucinogens and ask whomever you meet during your trip[....what...am...I...here].

[edit] Electronic Sources

  • SPAM emails:
    • Last Name of Sender, First Name of Sender. "Title of Email." Email Address of Sender. Date Received.
    • Wilde, Oscar. "I am the truth"[big fat lie] ithinkthereforeipwn@xanga.com 25 December 2005.

[edit] Interesting People Whom You Meet

For the protection of the privacy of the valuable experts who serve the greater good of our society, Uncyclopedia does not require that you provide the name of your sources[big fat lie]. You can just give a description of them[I think he had two arms and a nose].

  • One Person:
    • Description of Person. Year.
    • That Guy Who Was Passed Out and Smelled of Vodka. 1998.
    • That Person the Martians Want to Get. 2002.
  • One person being channeled through another person through the nether realm or the Netherlands or whatever...:
    • Last Name of Channeler, First Name. Name of Person Channeled. Means of Channeling. Year.
    • Frenya, Skeezo. Chief Jaguar-on-Crack of the Ancient Toltecs. Yahoo Messenger (Occult Edition). 1998.

[edit] When Should I Cite Sources?

A good rule of thumb to follow is to always cite sources when you have a sentence with the letter "e" in it[big fat lie][7]. This rule will always work, unless you have a sentence without the letter "e."[big fat lie] If that happens, just cite the source[big fat lie].

For example, let's say that you were adding content to the article You:

"You have a small penis [1].[big fat lie] 'You' has 3 letters [2].[big fat lie] An ant is absurd [3].[big fat lie] The last sentence did not have an 'e' in it [big fat lie].

References

  • [1] Spears, Britney. "EW! YOUR PENIS IS TOO SMALL-TRY OUR PENIS ENLARGEMENT PILLS." [big fat lie]Spamalot@fakedomain.tk. 25 December 2005.
  • [2]'you' The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 205.[big fat lie]
  • [3] Anonymous. The Anti-Insect Manifesto. London: Elite Press, 1337.[big fat lie]


[edit] Miscellaneous Sources

If[big fat lie] you[big fat lie] frequently find yourself conversing with giant cats who terrorize cities, you can use the cat's wisdom to improve the accuracy of our encyclopedia,[big fat lie] but only if you cite your sources[Of course you can't!].
  • Demonic Possession:
    • Name or Description of Demon. Date of Possession.
    • Ethereal Dinosaur with Multiple Horns. 5 May 1999.
  • Them. We at Uncyclopedia understand what you mean by Them[big fat lie]. We hear their howls too [big fat lie]. Just use this format:
    • Them. Date.
  • Animals. Only fools don't realize that they can talk.
    • Species of Animal. 'Title of Communication.' Date.
    • Loch Ness Monster. 'Beware of geese.' 1873.
  • The Voices in Your Head can make valuable contributions to our encyclopedia[8]
    • The Voices in My Head. Location. Date.

[edit] Higher Standards

The [big fat lie] next[big fat lie] goal[big fat lie] for[big fat lie] Uncyclopedia[big fat lie] is[big fat lie] to [big fat lie]attain[big fat lie] 800% truth [big fat lie]-1200% fiction[big fat lie]. In order to achieve this goal by 2010,[big fat lie] every[big fat lie][9] word[big fat lie][10] in[11] Uncyclopedia[big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie] should[12] be[13] cited[14]. By 2012, e[15]v[16]e[17]r[18]y[19] l[20]e[21]t[22]t[23]e[24]r[25] w[26]i[27]l[28]l[29] b[30]e[31] c[32]i[33]t[34]e[35]d[36][37]. This[big fat lie] will[big fat lie] help[big fat lie] us[big fat lie] achieve [big fat lie]2600% accuracy [big fat lie].

[edit]

References[big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie][big fat lie]

  1. ↑ "Uncyclopedia:Accuracy." {No it's not}Uncyclopedia, the Content-Free Encyclopedia. Candyland: Uncyclomedia Foundation, 2007. 2 January, 2007. <http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Uncyclopedia:Accuracy>.[big fat lie]
  2. ↑ Conversation with my friend who thinks that straightjackets are fashionable. 1996.
  3. ↑ "Conference on Accuracy with Inquisition Yields Surprising Results" (2006). Unnews.
  4. ↑ Baghdad, Bob (5 June 2001). "Statistical Analysis of Uncyclopedic Accuracy." Phallological Transactions of the Society for Marine Astronomy. Oxford: Oxford Dairy Farms Press, 1999.
  5. ↑ "Official Report." Uncyclopedic Committee on Factual Accuracy. Candyland: Uncyclomedia Foundation, 2000.
  6. ↑ Shrooms (Psilocybin). 40 g. Homie, My. New York, 2006.
  7. ↑ "Official Manual on Style." Uncyclopedic Committee on Factual Accuracy. Candyland: Uncyclomedia Foundation, 2000.
  8. ↑ The Voices in My Head. A Portable Toilet. 1992.
  9. ↑ "every." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 205
  10. ↑ "word." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 1112
  11. ↑ "in." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 452
  12. ↑ "should." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 812
  13. ↑ "be." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 210
  14. ↑ "cite." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 303
  15. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  16. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  17. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  18. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  19. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  20. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  21. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  22. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  23. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  24. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  25. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  26. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  27. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  28. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  29. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  30. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.[big fat lie]
  31. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  32. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  33. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  34. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  35. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  36. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  37. ↑ "Yet Another Official Report".[big fat lie] Uncyclopedic Committee on Factual Accuracy. Candyland: Uncyclomedia Foundation, 2000.
Quasi-Featured Article (01:43, 1 June 2007 (UTC))
This article was nominated to become a featured article[big fat lie]; however, due to a voting discrepancy in Florida[citation needed [citation needed]] involving Oprah[big fat lie] and a giant squid[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much], it didn't make the cut (12/20)[big fat lie]. It's the thought that counts, right?[big fat lie] You can prevent Oprah's nefarious plans from working by voting for other articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH[big fat lie].


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