Two Door Cinema Club

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Two Outhouse Doors
Two Outhouse Doors
Background information
Origin The mean streets of Donaghadee, Northern Ireland
Genre(s) Some hipster crap, indie disco, alternative rock
Years active Since they listened to a Phoenix song
Label(s) Label?

Alex Trimmedballs
Summer Holiday
Some semi-cool looking dude with a beard
For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Two Door Cinema Club.
“Two Door Cinema Club? Who? Oh, that Northern Irish indie band? Ah, yes, Northern Ireland. Where's that?”
~ Oscar Wilde on Two Door Cinema Club

Two Outhouse Doors are a band from Donaghadee, Northern Ireland. The band was formed in 2007 to give a big "Fuck You" to England and Ireland (its inarticulate members occasionally saying "Fuck you" at awkward times in interviews because they thought that was probably what The Gallaghers did). The band consists of Alice Trihard (vox, the guitar that no one cares about, beats, synths), Sag Hanukkah (lead guitar), Beard Guy (bass, beatboxing). Two Door Cinema Club released their debut album, Tourist Fistory: The Sex Tape in 2010 on a prominent radio station in Connecticut, USA. It was released a day later everywhere else, including North Korea. Tourist Fistory: The Sex Tape was released 10 years later in their home country of Northern Ireland to little reception because, fairly, no one even noticed that they had even started a band. Their second album, A Pretentious Way to Say Lighthouse was released in September 2012. It debuted at number one on the Irish Albums Chart because by then, the Irish people had figured that if they bought Two Outhouse Doors' album, they would stop releasing music and leave the Irish people to their quaint potato-farming lives.

edit History

edit Formation

Two Outhouse Doors has their origins in Bangor Grammar School where Axe Tabernacle first met Sack Haberdashery during their attendance. Haberdashery had been close friends with Beard Guy before he'd met Twinkle. He, then introduced Twinkle to Beard Guy, who proceeded to punch him in the gut several times. Beard Guy was looking to meet females and he couldn't do that if he was seen socializing with Truffle. Guitarist Stab Hackberry intervened and told Beard Guy and Trombone of an idea of how to meet 'chicks'. They formed an emocore band called Life Without Rory, in honor of their many past friends named Rory. The three members of Two Outhouse Doors, with their drummer, performed on the only television show in Northern Ireland, Oi! Wer be on the Tee-Vee! at the age of 16. They created two demos, "Do We Somewhat Sound Like Biffy Clyro Because Otherwise I Quit" and "Ode to Pete Wentz's Hair" before disbanding.

Triwire, Hillbilly, and Beard Guy continued their friendship after the end of their first musical project and soon, they began another musical venture, this time without a drummer. This band was named Two Outhouse Doors. The new band's name was taken from the location where Stack Halfpenny found the drummer of Life Without Rory dead. They started posting demos on MySpace and grew in popularity. The members of the band waived their places in university because they had only received an education in grammar and that probably wouldn't get them very far in life. Oh, and also because they started making sick beatz in da studio.

edit Four Turds to Wank Off

Two Outhouse released an EP entitled Four Turds To Wank Off in early 2009. It was positively received by critics. Unfortunately at the time, most music critics were 10 year old boys who found an astonishing amount of humor in potty jokes. One critic, coolmemeguy2008, raves, "lol. this album rox. i haven't listend to it yet but its called 4 turds to wank off so turds are another word for poop and wank off is funny it's touching urself lol."

edit "Banging of the Bees Buns"

On September 30th, 2013 the band released their EP "Banging of the Bees Buns". The album's title track was inspired when Alex Trembling, the band's ginger and therefore soulless singer, was dumped by his gf :( Allicks decided to pull a Taylor Swift and basically wrote a song about how mother heckin happy he was that his ex was out of his life 5ever. At this time, the band was attempting to reinvent their signature sound, so that is why the other songs on the EP sound nothing like "Banging of the Bees Buns". Guitarist Ham Hollandaise even sang the entirety of the third track, "Moldy Brains."

edit 2013-2015 Hiatus

Because the band had to spend every waking moment with each other, they grew to become sick of each other and loathe one another's presence. If bassist Forty-seven Bread so much as farted in the studio, Spam Happydays and Aldicks Tacobowl would proceed to kick him in his possibly-bearded balls. The band later admits in interviews that the only time they'd communicate with each other was whenever someone wanted to recite the profound, earth-shattering script of the award-winning animated film Bee Movie, starring Jerry Seinfeld and Renee Zellweger. The members would only communicate to each other on stage during performances by nodding, and after their performances they'd retreat to their hotel rooms to sleep or eat Flamin' Hot Cheetos and binge watch the iconic, utterly unforgettable American children's television series, SpongeBob Squarepants, or go to the bar to pick up hot babes with their overwhelming awkwardness. Their hatred of each other ultimately resulted in their hiatus. The members went their separate ways so they could find themselves and discover their purpose in life or whatever other spiritual crap nobody cares about. Safe Sex Turtleneck grew out his orange hair and his health deteriorated as he succumbed to alcoholism. Eleven Bird discovered the awesomeness of drugs after he was assigned a full-time job at Walter White's meth laboratory in Albuquerque, New Mexico. The only member who didn't fudge up his life was Lamb Challadays, who married Ray's Hell, the love of his life.

edit Lame Hoes (2016)

It was in November of 2015 when the band learned to like each other again. They'd send each other dank memes they found on the Interwebs and occasionally meet up for coffee or tacos or whatever else they had a taste for. They never spoke about the band until one day when STD Holladank stood up and paused Shrek 2 in the middle of the scene where the Fairy Godmother is performing an exceptionally epic cover of "I Need A Hero" while they were watching it in his basement and said "let's get back together." The three of them stripped out of their clothes and into their BDSM outfits and proceeded to have the hottest, wildest sex after and afterwards went upstairs to write and record new bangers after they finished their movie. During the summer of 2016, the band began touring again and released two new singles, both of which would be on their upcoming album: the catchy and funky "Mars Spaghetti? (Shrek)" and the disco-esque jam "Fat Dish Chickens." Innumerable amounts of fangirls and fanboys went berserk upon realizing that their favorite band hadn't all perished in a fiery inferno sometime during their hiatus and were making dope beats once again. On October 14th, 2016, a day that shall forever go down in history, their third album, Lame Hoes, was released.

edit See also

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