You have two cows

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"Beware of Flesh Eating Bovines" Devour their flesh, before they devour yours!

Correction: you had two cows.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about You have two cows.

“I have nothing to declare but my two cows.”

~ Oscar Wilde on you have two cows

“I have what???”

~ Captain Oblivious on you have two cows

“And proud of it!”

~ Struggling dairy farmer on you have two cows

You have two cows is the philosophical truth of the entire world.^[1] All categories except Category Nine (How mooriginal) may contain contributions from the Internet as well as Uncyclopedia contributors. Mathematical proof that you have two cows lies in moometric identity:

This mathematical proof can also be written with the second moometric identity:

Where Moo is the universal moometric constant.

A long-standing tradition of mathematics has been the discovery of new truths pertaining to two-cow ownership. Currently, 45,893 two-cow truths are known. The complete list are given in the pages following. Nostradamus demonstrated in 1555 that the total number of two-cow truths is infinite.

A related but much more difficult problem is the identification of philosophical truths involving the ownership of three cows. An infinite number of these is also expected to exist, although this is unproven. To date, very few three-cow truths are known to exist, all of which have yet to be proven. In coming years this problem is expected to become much more important, as Microsoft has announced that the next version of Windows will require users to have three cows, or, alternatively, two overmilked ones. Linux however only needs a pint of milk, but you need to deliver the milk through the command prompt with the use of four pipes, an awk and a sed.

1. ↑ Except Soviet Russia. In Soviet Russia, two cows have YOU!!

[edit] Related Articles

• Cow
• Cowation
• Cow arson
• Cowbell

[edit] External links

What will happen to your two cows

   

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