Twitter

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

“It's like a dream come true.”

~ Stalker on Twitter

“Too many twits make a twat.”

~ David Cameron on Twitter

“I can`t belive...she`s tweeting that she went out with her ex... They just have sex?!?”

~ MAD Magazine on Twitter

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Twitter.

Twitter is an internet product, with a large fan-base of "twits", who disperse information in very small text packets, known as tweets. It may be the saddest thing since bereavement, but there are literally thousands of people keeping their friends up to date with their every bowel movement.
-23 minutes ago

edit Creation

Trying to find next version of blogging
-7 months, 25 days ago

Tried making way to send individual people personalized blogs-- turns out it's called e-mail and nobody uses it anymore
-7 months, 24 days ago

Asked forum for ideas... going to try blogs put on physical mediums.
-7 months, 23 days ago

Physical mediums already done called "mail." like e-mail, but no e. Anyone have ideas?
-7 months, 22 days ago

Have to poop.
-7 months, 22 days ago

pooped.
-7 months, 22 days ago

Can't think of ideas. Hernando keeps bugging me about the oven.
-7 months, 21 days ago

@StMarysPsychWard: Hernando is so real, stop saying he's not, it makes him angry
-7 months, 20 days ago

Idea: worst thing about blogs is they come in big chunks. What if I want smooth creamy blogging?
-7 months, 20 days ago

The tentacles are starting to bother Hernando and I.
-7 months, 19 days ago

Attempt one at creamy blogging failed. Warning: do not butter your Ethernet port.
-7 months, 18 days ago

The oracle is visiting!
-7 months, 17 days ago

The oracle says I should break the blog into pieces to make it creamy. She also says we are all damned to the halls of a thousand eyes.
-7 months, 15 days ago

Never blinking always staring.
-7 months, 15 days ago

I need: more goldfish flavored crackers
-7 months, 14 days ago

Monitor broken trying to break up blog. crackercrackercrackercracker *zot*
-7 months, 12 days ago

The relations between blogs and sine waves are FishCracker-sponential.
-7 months, 11 days ago

12 cups whiskey cream. Poured down tentacles to satisfy clamaxtyll.
-7 months, 10 days ago

Leagues closer to the key of eyes. Involves breaking blogs down BUT making them come faster. Like bullets.
-7 months, 9 days ago

All hail clamaxtyll! Thou who shan't submit to his feathery wrath shall be ended.
-7 months, 8 days ago

I broke the code. I made blogs small, and you update them like every hour. Up-to-the minute status reports of my ascent as the chosen one of clamaxtyll shall follow.
-7 months, 7 days ago

Holy fuck! I just mowed my fucking lawn! Holy fucking shit! AAAAH! Now my grass is all crazy-ass short!
-7 months, 6 days ago

I just twoted all over Twitter! Now i gotta clean the mess up.
-7 months, 5 days ago

I Just Put Spyware And A Virus Then A Trojan On My Computer
-4 months, 1 days ago

Holy Shit! An armed robber is in my house! What should I do?
-1 day ago

I just get 1 000 000$. What shud I do?
-1 hour ago

OMG - no-one can watch this video the whole way through without throwing up! Hav a look! http://bull.shit/spamtotakeyourpersonaldetails
-30 mins ago

I #Look #what #I #found#!#! #hastag #zomg #hashtageverything# ######
-20 mins ago

edit See also

• Twit book