Turkey

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      This article is about the Central Asia Turkish hordes, a 21st century primitive semi-nomadic area whose influence dominates the inside of their tents. For a turkey that goes gobble-gobble, see Turkey (animal).
     


UNAMERICAN
This article hates America, just like everyone else does.
See more about Unamerica.

Consequently, this article lacks much or any redeeming intellectual value. However, in spite of the fact that no one with an IQ exceeding that of a primordial sponge has contributed significantly to this article, it still contains more truth than most people would care to listen to.


Turchia
Central Asian Khanate of Turkish Hordes
Turkiya
File:RedX.PNG
(Flag) (Coat of Arms)
Motto: "Love in home, love in the world"
Anthem: "The March of Futura"
Capital not Constantinople
Largest city Constantinopole
Official languages Arabic
Government Horde-ism, Tribal dictatorship
 Padishah  USA-ullah Gule
 Führer  Rajap Tayyeap
National Hero(es) Genghis Khan, Mohammed, Attila the Hun
Declaration
of Formation
 13rd Century
Currency Million Lira
Religion 100% Islam
 Population 12 million (Just counted Constantinopolites, sorry.)
 Area tent camp - 1.0 kmp
 Population density People feels like Turks (75%), Kurds (20%), Circassians (4%), Assyrians (1%)
 Internet TLD com.mie.tr
 Calling code +900


We must revenge Armenians at all costs!!!

~ Barack Obama on Turkey

Kurdistan will become an independent nation!

~ Celal Talebani on Turkey


Turkestan (Turkish: Türkistan) is a semi-nomadic, primitive khanate. Geographically, one can see that Turkey stretches from East Asia all the way to Kazakhstan. Additionally, upon conquering the Caspian Sea, Turkey also includes the underwater kingdom of fish. Though the Turkish khanate consists of a variety of different languages and cultures, it is only the people of Turkish origin that are the most sheep-psy.

Contents

History

Polat Alemdar, shown with Memati and Abdül Rey, the Turkish megalomaniacs that sucked US general William C. Mayville
Aftermath of World War I. Turkey becomed a small landlocked country between Greece and Armenia

Anatolia was an ancient land inhabited by various people like Greeks, Armenians, Persians, Romans and so forth. During the timespan in which these great cultures and civilizations inhabited the land, "our friends" the Turks were living, their primitive pathetic nomadic life in the Altay Mountains.

One day, their leader got this great idea:

"Dude, Altay Mts are boring, all we do is stay in our tents and eat goat all day long! Let's go and invade Anatolia!!"

So they did! In a few years they multiplied like bunnies and started their way across Central Asia towards Anatolia, killing everything in their path.

Anatolia was part of the Byzantine Empire, the most civilized state at the time. The primitive Turks massacred Constantinople and took control over the land.

Through out history the Ottoman Empire which they established was called the Sick man of Europe and for a good reason.

As the multinational Ottoman Empire was losing its power and influence, the semi-nomadic Turks started to do some ethnic cleansing and killed 1.5 million Armenians, Assyrians, Kurds and Greeks, which were the rightful owners of the land.

The Turks were natural born cowards and instead of fighting they stabbed Armenians in the back!

People who hate the Turks

  • Armenians - their wost enemy is Turkey
  • Greeks - their worst enemy is Turkey
  • Kurds - their worst enemy is Turkey
  • Bulgarians - they hate Turks for being a large minority in Bulgaria
  • Serbs - they hate Turks for the Ottoman Rule and spread of Islam
  • Germans - they hate Turks for invading their country and multiplying like rats
  • Austrians
  • Swiss
  • Romanians
  • Russians
  • Hungarians
  • Albanians - they hate Turks for converting them to Islam

Historic personalities which hated Turks

  • Stephen the Great, ruler of Moldavia, who fought the Turks 36 times and only lost two battles.
  • Vlad the Impaler, ruler of Wallachia, who used to impale Turkish prisoners and messengers.
  • Various other European leaders, which referred to the Ottoman Empire as the sick man of Europe.

Historic pals

  • Azerbaijanis
  • Iakuts
  • Kazakhstanis
  • Turkmenistanis
  • Uzebekistanis
  • Tatars
  • Mongols
  • Huns
  • some Magyars and Bulgars
  • some Muslims

Mount Ararat

Mount Ararat founded by Noah. It's a symbol of Holiness, which was stolen by the Armenians.

Turkey-USA relations

President Obama at a press conference, as a sign of respect towards Turkey.

Football

Beşiktaş, the best team in Turkey (And the one team who had a fascist stadium)

Turkey's top soccer team is Beşiktaş. But since the Turkish First League is rated so low in the world, Beşiktaş is also one of the worst teams in the world.

They are currently on the verge of becoming the champion team in the Turkish soccer league, which obviously doesn't mean anything since the Turkish league is mostly Istanbul-dominated.

Their next goal is to win a single match in the Uefa Champions League preliminary phase, since they have no chance at ever qualifying for the group phase.

Turkish football started to improve when Romanian footballers like Gică Hagi, Gică Popescu and coach Mircea Lucescu decided to help their pathetic football.

Their football level dropped soon after they left Turkey.

The only chance that Turks have to win any match is to have a payed referee on their side.

See also

Turkic States
Azerbaijan | Cyprus | Kyrgyzstan | Kazakhstan | Uzbekistan | Turkey | Turkmenistan
Countries and territories of Asia

Euroasia: Cyprus | Georgia | Japan-France | Russia | Turkey | The Filipino Empire

Phoenician Asia: Lebanon

Western Asia: Afghanistan | Armenia | Azerbaijan | Bahrain | Persia | Terrorism | The Holy Land | Far East | Iraq's Hide-out | Oman | Pakistan | Palestinian Territories | Qatar | Saudi Arabia | Syria | United Arab Emirates | Wherethefuckistan | Yemen

Central Asia: The Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan | Kyrgyzstan | Mongolia | Tajikistan | Turkmenistan | Uzbekistan | other Stan countries

South Asia: Bangladesh | Bhutan | India | Kashmir | Maldives | Nepal | The Wanker | Tibet

Southeast Asia: Cambodia | East Timor | Indonesia | Laos | Malaysia | Mindanao | Myanmar | Philippines | Singapore | Thailand | Vietnam

East Asia: China (PRC) | Central Korea | Hong Kong Phooey | Japan | Macau | Kimland | South Korea | Taiwan (ROC) | Wal-Mart's Republic of China | Republic of Taiwan

Europa


North West Central East

Scantily-Clad
IKEA
Nokia
Estoned
No Way!
Lithium-Mania!
Bjorkistan
A-Lot-Via
Benchmark (Pharaoh Islands Wasteland)

Bullshit Isles
In-Gland
Scotch-Tape
Whales
Little Tireland
Isle of Woman
just a platform
Tireland

Snails n' Froggies
Frankly
Old Jersey
Andorra
Switchblade-Land


Poirot
Neverland
Bell-Jam
Deluxe-Burger

Lesbirian Penisula
Spayed
Poor-Jew-Girl
Giblets
Adore-Her

Parmesan Penisula
Spaghettiland
Some Mafioso
Vaseline City
Malteasers
Nazis
Germy
Australia
Checked-n'-Republished
Slow-Hockeyia
Pooland
Hungry
Lick-The-Stein


Ball-can Penisula
Albinostan
Grease
Cypress
Churky
Server
Costco (New!)
Boss-Near and Hurts-Her-Governor
Macydoughnia
Vulgaria
Mount-On-Negro
Slovene'
Crazia

Russkie
You're-Cranky
Bellyrub
Mulled-Over
Army-Near
Azure-Beige-Yams
The Other Georgia
Roaming-Near
Cock-Assia (New!)
Borat

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Countries and territories of North America
Sovereign states

Main: United States of America Turkish Empire | Canada/Canadia | Mexico | Jesusland | Confederate States of America | Kentuckistan | Québec (wannabe)
Northernmost: Mediocre Britain | TriCanada/Canada States | Duchy of Björk | People's Republic of Canada | Awesome land/Not So Awesome Land
Atlantic: United Spades of Amerika | The United States of Whatever | Sugarbeetworld | Wikiland
Central America: Belize | El Salvador | Guatemala | Honduras | Kittenolivia | Nicaragua | Panama | Panama Canal Zone | Puniolivia | Megatexas
Caribbean: Antigua and Barbuda | Bahamas | Barbados | Cuba | Dominica | Dominican Republic | Grenada | Haiti | Jamaica | St. Kitts and Nevis | St. Lucia | Saint Vincent and the Grenadines | Tortuga | Trinidad and Tobago


Dependencies

Atlantic: expanded United Kingdom of Britannia | Amerigo | Cillit Bang Territory
Northernmost: Greenland | Gayman Islands | Cancanada
Gulf of Mexico: Florida Keys | Pen Island | Bermuda Square | Tropico | Orgasm
Caribbean: Guadeloupe | Martinique | Saint Barthélemy | Saint Martin | Saint Pierre and Miquelon | Aruba | Bermuda/The Triangle | Netherlands Antilles | Anguilla | British Virgin Islands | Cayman Islands | Monkey Island | Montserrat | Turks and Caicos Islands | Puerto Rico | U.S. Virgin Islands

THIS IS MA HOME LAND, KITTENOLIVIA. MA HOMIES LIVE THERE. ~THIS IS MEOW TSE-TWahhh (I FORGOT TO SPELL MA NAME)
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