True Pain

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- True pain is like being a cookie. You get broken then usually subsequently eaten, either of which is very painful - Random pedestrian

- I experienced that once. It hurt. A Lot. - Victim in the movie SAW

- The first time was the last. And at age five that really could have been avoided. But that sledgehammer, chainsaw and flammable oil was just a tad too tempting. - Someone who is now dead

True pain, initially quoted as serrated weaponry up one's ass, relates to the most painful incident that has ever occurred to a single being, mostly preferably oneself, as it makes the story more believable if you are talking about your own true pain. The above definition, although can be true does not refer to the overall republic, as they all have different views of the word pain. The mathematical formula for true pain is below: Pain + Noninstant death + Humour and disbelief = True Pain


That's an assload of pain.

edit Pain through Death

True Pain only strengthens this argument. The simple fact is, death is the worst curse ever placed on the heads of humanity. Basically you are given two options in life: a) end it b) continue until God ends it for you. Neither of these bring about much enthusiasm when it comes to suffering true pain. Except amongst those pain stricken people who lavish themselves in self injury.Due to the fact that they are picked on, experienced death many times, or just hate being alive in general

edit Agony Through Death

True pain only exists because people in the middle of committing suicide or being killed, have second thoughts, but instead of willingly carking it, stay alive as long as possible to enjoy their last minutes alive. Which they usually don't because they are suffering true pain in these last minutes. Which brings people to the unanimous conclusion that some people are just plain assholes when it comes to decision making.

edit Why Death is funny

Death is funny because people are so stupid and unexpecting that it will not happen that they do everything so dangerously until they are suddenly enlightened to the fact of how important life is. After this time they proceed to be as cautious as possible, but because of being cautious they are killed. A humorous classic. Other instances where death is funny is when people are similar to lemmings and die accordingly to their immense stupidity and dogged following of the next person into a butching machine (usually a well, cliff or Iraq).

edit Worst Deaths Ever

Personally, all deaths that inhibit true pain are bloody painful. This is a small list of ones that are the most inventive I have ever heard:

> Shot in the crotch, twice with a tazer, them having each digit of your feet and hands cut off once every day. Upon the amount of remaining digits equally zero, the amputation of both feet, and subsequent bleeding, almost to death, but then resuscitated to be burnt alive then eaten by voodoo punks soon follows

> To be disembowelled with a lawnmower then be kept alive by stitching you back together without anaesthetic and the subsequent repetition of this until your organs die or you do.

> First drowned, then having your balls ripped off with a knife, then having to eat the severed remains before being shot twenty times in each foot, leg, arm, hand and crotch before then being amputated of limbs until you are just a body with a head, then hit with a sledgehammer till dead.

> Trying to commit suicide but landing in knee deep water and impaling your legs on two sharp sticks and left until you die of starvation or pain, or are drowned by the rising tide.

edit Philosophy on True Pain

The philosophy of pain often results in ones death, as it is painful enough to render one against being alive. Of course this does not apply to lepers with leprosy. Lucky bastards. They are indestructible against pain and thus cannot die. Unfortunately, this does not apply to us normal people and we must be going along, avoiding true pain, at all costs. This includes staying away from people capable of making the world asplode like Lindsay Lohan, George Bush, Paris Hilton's mini Nazi poodle and Bob Dole's genitals (if he have any). true pain also come in the form, of getting back home from a long days work to find someone has stole your food!

edit See also

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