Tromsø

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Tromsø is a town in Norway, it is populated by 170 Space Otters, and also a mix of other people and races.

It was built as an exact replica of Paris, two days after Bob The Builder's copyright on the town had run out. However, because of a communication error, the town was built at 1:10 scale, making it a rather tedious place to live (though its supervising constructor, Gulliver, never seemed to mind). The likeness between Tromsø and Paris has given rise to Paris's nickname "The Tromsø of the south".

The mayor of Tromsø, Herman Kristoffersen, carries the nick name Røde Herman (Red Herman). He acquired the nick name as a Stalinist combat pilot during the First World War, flying the famous AKP(m-l) plane, wearing red or pink underwear. He was the wing leader of a squadron of other famous pilots like Mao, Pol Pot, Enver Hoxha, Lin Piao, Ho Chi Minh, Ayatollah Khomeini and Joseph Stalin. After a series of technical problems with the AKP(m-l) plane during the 80thies, Red Herman was born again as a democrat. Unconfirmed rumours say that Red Herman is still a Stalinist, posing as a democrat, still wearing pink underwear.

Tromsø is one of the last remaining bastions of segregation. A minor colony of seagulls live in the center of town, where they are constantly victims of abuse. Seagulls have no civil rights, and are often cited among Tromswegians as being the root of all evil. A law is actually passed in Tromsø, stating that the selling or offering of any kinds of services to seagulls is considered a felony. Despite all this, the seagulls are the cornerstone of the Tromsø way of life. An estimated 78% of all meals in Tromsø are produced by seagulls. The Tromswegian's favorite dish includes eating the seagulls young, preferably raw, accompanied by a fluid called mackøl. This is a drink which is almost, but not entirely unlike milk.

Tromsø is known in the rest of Norway as being "bloody far away". however, Tromswegians usually counter this by claiming that it is in fact the rest of Norway that is far away.

It must also be noticed that traveling in tromsø after midnight is entirely at own risk. When the clock strikes midnight, the street (yes the one and only) will be filled with more or less drunk people. These people DO NOT have a life outside the alcohol, and must therefore be considered extremely dangerous. Many of them are also students, which means they are broke and will not stop at anything to get money for their next mackøl. If you are looking for a cab after 0200 am in weekdays or 0300 am in weekends, please walk outside the centre of the town and call 77603000 (the number for the cab company). The lines for waiting for the cabs are considered the most dangerous place in all of Norway. In other words the most dangerous place on earth. after 1200pm people have fallen asleep at the different nachspiels and the town is once again considered safe.

Since Tromsø is a replica of Paris, Tromswegians suffers from the Napoleon complex (or Napoleon syndrome). The term is used to more generally describe people who are driven by a perceived handicap to overcompensate in other aspects of their lives. Tromswegians suffers by the presence of all or part of an extra 21st chromosome, and Tourette's syndrome, most often associated with the exclamation of obscene words or socially inappropriate and derogatory remarks (coprolalia). Which means Tromswegians are stupid, with a big mouth out of control. This is one of the reasons the cab lines are so dangerous.

Tromsø is also home to the most evil, twisted and corrupt empire company there is, namely Tromsbuss. This company is cloaked as a bus company, but is actually an organization preparing the world for Ragnarokk by torturing people riding their vehicles. In winter time the vehicles are frigid and saturated with an aroma of morning breath. In summer time you’ll get fried by the excruciating heat and humidity. Some of Tromsbuss old vehicles are known to be rented out to deamons from hell in holiday seasons. If you are one of Tromsøs deamons you'll have to be quick if you consider renting such a vehicle. The city is hometown to Shakira

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edit The Jante Law

Tromsø is also notoriously known for its close connection to the Jante Law. The concept was created by the Norwegian/Danish author Aksel Sandemose in his novel A refugee crosses his tracks (En flygtning krydser sit spor, 1933). In the 1955 commented edition of the novel the town of Tromsø is mentioned as one of the places the Jante Law has strong support.

The ten rules of the Jante Law are:

1. Don't think that you are special.

2. Don't think that you are of the same standing as us.

3. Don't think that you are smarter than us.

4. Don't fancy yourself as being better than us.

5. Don't think that you know more than us.

6. Don't think that you are more important than us.

7. Don't think that you are good at anything.

8. Don't laugh at us.

9. Don't think that anyone cares about you.

10. Don't think that you can teach us anything.

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