Trilobite

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Trilobite
A modern day trilobite???

Trilobites were invented on October 6th 1337 B.C. by Stephen Spielberg to be used as extras in his critically acclaimed film Harry Potter and the Cambrian Explosion, based on the book by George Bernard Shaw. Trilobites are small and furry, and reproduce if you get them wet after midnight. To keep themselves entertained, trilobites drew on Precambrian rocks with their feet; some of their most famous works include the Ediacara Fauna and the Burgess Shale.

History

Cambrian Explosion
The so called "Cambrian Explosion" was merely some kids playing with mints and coke near a Trilobite farm.

Trilobites were hunted to extinction by the dinosaurs, who consumed them as a tasty mid-morning snack. The Last Trilobite - played by Daniel Day Lewis in the film of the same name - eventually died of ennui in Belgium.

Trilobite fossils were first found by a Welsh coal miner excavating a pit in which he wanted to bury the family he had recently murdered. Famous scientists of the time, including Abe Lincoln, Levi Bulls, andBill Clinton the Science Guy, at first thought they were the remains of tribolites, but in fact they were merely dyslexic.

Biostratigraphic studies pinpointed their origin at the middle of the Frohm Age, when cheese ruled the seas. They went extinct at the holocaust of the Jewrassic era.

Taxonomically, trilobites can be divided into four major Odours. First is the Odour Agnostica, comprised of legally blind trilobites, as well as the sub-order Myopica. Second is the Odour Supercalifrigalisticaexpialidocius, which were hideous monstrosities. The most famous of these is Sarajessica parkeri.

The other Odours are not worth mentioning.

Random Trivia

  • Klingons hate trilobites
  • Trilobites hate Klingons
  • The tail of a trilobite is called a Pygmalion
  • There are eight trilobits to a trilobite
  • A trilobite's rear end is known as a trilobutt
  • George Clooney once got so mad at a trilobite, he blew it to trilobits.
  • Radioactive trilobites are stored is Silobites.
  • It is rumored that triloBARKs are indeed worse than triloBITEs.
  • Trilobites cannot fly, because then they would be triloflights.
  • Culinary masters found that boiling trilobites make excellent trilodelights.
  • Really ancient computers use trilobites as memory.
  • 3.48275 percent of all trilobites are Jewish.
  • Trilobites in medieval times were known as triloknights.
  • Trilodays come after trilonights.
  • Trilobites are three times bigger than unibites
  • Trilobites have evil relatives named Bilobites
  • Trilobites ride trilobikes
  • Trilobites fly trilokites
  • The act of cutting a Trilobite out of rock is called a Trilobotomy

See also

Trilobite War

Grue

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