Trigonometry
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“Trigonometry, that's the legal waterboarding right?”
~ George Bush on Speech on the practices at Guantanamo Bay
“In Soviet Russia, trigonometry has no real life use for YOU!”
~ Russian Reversal on trigonometry
Trigonometry has many applications in fields ranging from carpentry to underwater basket weaving, and can generally be applied to pairs of parallel lines which intersect, as discovered by Euclid.
There are a few possible etymologies for the word "trigonometry". One derivation reasons that the original Greek word tri means four, and gonos means arc, so five arcs are involved in all trigonometric equations, one of the arcs being a reserve one for in case one of the others goes missing.
Another derivation goes as follows: "Triga" is a sort of fish. "Nom" is French for "name," and Tree... well everyone knows what that is, so... Trigonometry is French fishes in trees.
Another school of thought holds that the name derives from the fact that it is so frustrating, it makes you want to put a gun to your head and pull the trigger. I mean God, this stuff is totally impossible. Triggernometry may have also been derived from computer games, since it is the study of where the heck a bullet flies based on the θ and the ϕ when a noob fires a gun.
Some theorize that through Procto-Analysis, a most discussed branch of Exploration, one can channel trigonometrical knowledge into formulas, to greatly improve one's erection and ultimately aiding in getting laid. Multiple times. By multiple women. In multiple ways.
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[edit] SOHCAHTOA
SOHCAHTOA (Sigmund Over Hundy Can't Always Have The Oldest Actor) is a neologism used by small minded/mentally challenged people to remember how to find the magnitude of the side of a right-angled triangle (as apposed to a wrong-angled triangle; this requires extensive use of hidden quotes from The Divine Comedy and a mushroom).
Other people just use an Electronic Calculator with an in-built scanner and 2500+ mathematical and physical preloaded formulas. Or they just do... somehow (please insert gasps of mystery here).
[edit] Here's Your Sine...GET IT!?!?! LOLLERSKATES!!
You wanted trigonometry, you got trigonometry!
“Well now this just makes no sense.”
~ Trig teacher on this
“Shut up, I'm not done yet.”
~ Some tool who posted this
[edit] Trig Palin
Sarah Palin named her son Trig, because the tangent of the angle of her legs as Todd Palin nailed her yielded the opposite of what she wanted (a retarded child, as opposed to a normal child) over the adjacent hospital bed. See, Sarah Palin would have had a normal child, but her math was all wrong. That is why she named her child Trig, because "I never passed Trig in high school, let alone those other liberal elitist courses like Pre-Algebra!"
[edit] See also
- Triangle
- Tangent
- Pythagoras Theorem
- Euclid's Axioms
- Mathematics
- Suicide
- Medieval Torture
- Cos
- Trig Palin
