Trigger warning

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The following content contains material that might offend the sensibilities of some readers of this site. If you have any medical conditions or ideologies which keep you from reading this content, please click the pretty red 'x' at the corner of your browser window. Otherwise, proceed with caution, and remember, you are loved, you are special, and no one deserves to hurt you or your feelings, which are every bit as unique and wonderful as you are. I know things are hard for you, I know you're fraught with all sorts of fears and self-doubts but just know that we're here for you, and we'll do everything to keep you safe.

Trigger warning: This article on Trigger warnings has been meticulously screened for any word or words that could possibly cause offense or insult in any and every group demographic, and has been approved by both the American Civil Liberties Union, the Southern Poverty Law Center and at least six (6) different tumblr posters to be inclusive to all possible groups or combination of groups, including womyn, People of Color, people of all sexual and asexual orientations, People without Color, people of all genders and nonpeople persyns with and without sentience and sapience. This article is most likely inclusive to anyone or anything that is able to comprehend or detect the existence of words and colors, although single-celled persyns might experience moderate pain or strain through the ambient heat created by most PC monitors. It is kindly advised that single-celled persyns of all genders and identities use monitors with lower photon outputs.

However, no one (including solipsists and singulitarians) can guarantee that a text is inoffensive to anyone and can be inoffensive to anyone all the time. The intersectionality of different identities makes it, by definition, statistically impossible to completely establish the offensiveness and/or inoffensiveness of any word in any medium, including text. For example, a word or words that is inoffensive to an Inuit man and a Finnish woman might be offensive to an Inuit woman or a Finnish man (of course, the privilege of a Finnish man counteracts most offense suffered). This article has been tested by Microsoft supercomputers to be inoffensive to 6*10^23 combinations of different identities, social constructed or otherwise, but complete mathematic uncertainty of inoffensiveness escapes our current progress in critical theory and critical feminist theory, and until then, this seemingly minute but very significant probability of offense or insult should not be understated.

Also note that browsers with different UNICODE settings might inadvertently display potentially triggering text or texts that might have otherwise been innocuous. Because of this, using the Netscape browser viewed through a CRT display is the least triggering method of reading this article. The text rendering used by other more modern browsers might obfuscate the text in this article, either turning an inoffensive word to an offensive one or hiding the offensiveness of a word or words.

But with all this being said, offense is never, ever taken, but given, and no one's opinions on offense should be invalidated. The intent of the author and/or authors text can never be truly understood, as meaning belongs solely to the audience. A word or words that seems perfectly innocuous could very well be offensive to someone, and no amount of reasoning or logic involved in determining inoffense should invalidate the personal opinions of the offended as meaning cannot ever be determined by those who 'make' it. It's long been universally accepted in academia that words belong to no one and everyone simultaneously. Remember, we love you, we care for you, you're special. Everyone wants to be loved, and we're here to help.

Trigger Captcha: Trigger warnings are, of course, insufficient to reasonably guarantee that a text is inoffensive, because the inoffensive quality of the text or texts is not found completely within the text, but within the context of the text or texts with which it is surrounded. Meaning exists outside the text. For example, Ender's Game is a horribly offensive book that should be shunned and burned in a giant pile of other troubling books not because of the text, but because its author is homophobic. A completely inoffensive article can be rendered utterly offensive if its viewed, read and supported by people with offensive and triggering beliefs. Because of this, a Trigger Captcha of sorts has been formulated to insure all those viewing this article on trigger warnings do not harbor inappropriate beliefs or ideologies.

Three (3) pictures have been prepared below. To proceed to the article on Trigger warnings, you must click on the picture which is objectively the least triggering. Failure to identify the least triggering picture will result in failure of the Trigger Captcha, and the SHITLORD tag will be forever appended to your IP address when browsing this site, so that other users may identify you as a SHITLORD and avoid you accordingly. If you are differently abled and unable to take the visual test, an admin will send you the audio version of this page by mail within two (2) business weeks.

Triggercaptcha-img1 Triggercaptcha-img2 Triggercaptcha-img3
[1] Happy family picnic [2] Chicken on a farm [3] African children
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