From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Main street Traralgon

The main street of Traralgon is notable for its Rotary Club stand, which is considered to be a tourist attraction.

This page is a work in progress
But let's give it a chance. The author will finish it later.
Or maybe not. Should they choose the latter, within seven days, this page will not exist anymore.
Now, go away!
Health Warning: Putting this template on a page consisting of a few lines or worse will not save you and may actually get you banned.
This page will be re-checked on 30 April 2017

Traralgon is a city within the Latrobe Valley subsystem. It has a population of about 25,000, mostly either lawyers, doctors, students, or just lamenting their situation.

This 'subsystem' consists of coal mining as a primary industry, with the local council touting its benefits for the local economy (because without it, it seems, everybody would lose their jobs, even the lawyers, doctors, students, and those lamenting their situation) and forgetting completely about what coal does to the environment.


Traralgon is located within a valley near the aforementioned coal mines. In fact, some parts of town are built extremely close to the mines, with only the M1 freeway as a buffer zone. Subsequently, people have been known to walk across to the mines where they will summarily get drunk and attempt to drag themselves under heavy machinery. This is considered a byproduct of bad education (despite good schools existing in Traralgon) as well as the 'silly season' culture.

West of Traralgon lie Moe (please pronounce it correctly) and Morwell, which are Traralgon's younger siblings: it must keep them in check. However Morwell still has the advantage of being home to the council offices.

East of Traralgon lies some farms, and recently, a large amount of roadworks, as they attempt to widen the road for the benefit of all those who travel east for their holidays in the Lakes region.

Stockland Traralgon entrance

Stockland, the high temple to consumerism in Traralgon's heart.


While Traralgon existed for thousands of years as a settlement point for the local Indigenous people, in the eyes of most, it really started in 1877 when the train line from Melbourne came through. Now, the inhabitants of the village could travel to the city to escape their living conditions, proving that once the 'tree-change' culture was the exact opposite of what it is today.

One of Traralgon's proudest boasts is that they did once produce a Nobel Prize winner, Sir Macfarlane Burnet, and it wasn't even in the field of agriculture, instead in medicine. Presumably, it has at least gone backwards in the intervening 55 years.


Traralgon, as has been mentioned before, has a train station. The trains depart every hour or so from and to Melbourne, and occasionally to Bairnsdale (most trains in this direction from Traralgon are empty, because people have cars and consider train travel to be old-fashioned), and occasionally get replaced by buses, depending on whether the station crew have finished their tea break or not.

See also

Personal tools