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“If you're giving a "woman" a reach-around, you're probably doing something wrong.”
“In Soviet Russia, women rape YOU!!”
“Dude looks like a lady!”
“He most certainly is!”
“Fatty's can find love with them, ask Dillby”
“Like a woman, but they can throw straight and theyve more to hide under their kilt.”
“I'm just a Sweet Transvestite, from Transexual Transylvania!”
“It's a trap!”
Origin of the term
A transvestite is a geological formation, similar to a stalegtite, which resembles a vest. A less common usage of the word denotes a mad bastard who is sexually attracted to his mum. Though the concept of wearing the clothing of the opposite gender had long been practiced by the English (for the theatre) and the Scottish (for daily life), as a term transvestite originated from the person called Tranvestus.Shalika, who happens to be a blonde, preppy transvestite herself. Hence why the the phrase, "Sha-li-ka, more than meets the eye" came into play. After arriving on Earth some of their camp became obsessed with the 'pretty' human women and began wearing skimpy vests and mincing about in an extremely clumsy manner (a trait later made famous by their banished former leader Ellen DeGeneres).The term thus springs from a merger of the words trans (as in transformer), vest (as in the article of clothing), and ite (as in a social climber).Occasionally, a Transvestite is known as a "Trap." This usage can be traced back to Admiral Ackbar's Feb 29 1997 declaration of "It's a Trap!"
Transvestitism traitsAccording to the Bureau of Utter Bullshit 0.1% of the Ohio population are transvestites. However, it is worth noting that the reasons for an individuals draw to this state can vary immensely. The following are the most commonly cited reasons given:
Being a transvestite is a one way ticket to hell. And it's gross, I mean, can't you be happy with your gender? Despite public opinion there are no direct links between transvestitism and homosexuality. However, obvious links exist between transvestitism and communism… Ronald Reagan said so.
- President Ronald Reagan: transvestite prostitute from Mexico
- J. Edgar Hoover: renowned male transvestite
- Elton John: renowned female transvestite
- Margaret Thatcher: owned male transvestite
- Ellen DeGeneres: renowned male transvestite
- Katie Holmes: award-winning transvestite, direction unknown
- Nick Nolte: an extremely unconvincing male transvestite
- Pete Burns: can't decide, but here for completeness
- Jeremy Clarkson: tries too hard to wear his hair in a perm like your granny.
- Rona Ambrose: renowned Canadian political male transvestite
- Justin Bieber: renowned female transvestite, but actually a 50 year old pervert wearing a Justin Bieber body costume
- Wikipedia Admins
- Tina Wicker
- Ben Kennedy
- Madonna, The God-dess and mother of all of'em
- Mr. T, there's a rumour that he's the fusion between Venus and Serena Williams.
- Oscar Wilde
- Carson Kressley, some say that he's actually a woman
- Sandra Bullock, oh...wait! She's a trannie!
- Pope Benedict
- Amy Winehouse
- Dennis Rodman, oooops...I forgot it! another trannie, sorry!
- Queen Latifah
- Kim Jong-Il
- Saddam Hussein
- Nancy Reagan...no wait, she's a Dalek
- Dipsy and Tinky Winky of the Teletubbies
- Upsy Daisy from In the Night Garden
- David Beckham: source of the transvestite phrase "bends it like Beckham"
- Rosie O'Donnell: suspected male transvestite
- Axl Rose: suspected female transvestite
- Benjamin Harrison: quite probably the first female President
- Fabio: the world’s most unconvincing female
- Ann Coulter: suspected satanic transvestite
- Jenny: pinko fag sellout who works at some bookstore in Saskatoon
- Sephiroth: oh wait, maybe Genesis can tell us...
Individuals with a disturbing attraction to transvestites
- Bill Clinton: to be fair, he is attracted to anything with a pulse
- Lord Byron: predisposed to females pretending to be males
Individuals exempt from transvestitism
Some people, for one reason or another, are categorically unable to pass as a transvestite:
- Michael Jackson: is not androgynous
- Marilyn Manson: plastic surgery has made this individual androgynous
- The Great Kelly