Tragedy

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Tragedy is a sort of theater play famous for dullness, people who claim to be devastated when it is obvious they're stoned, dressed in stupid costumes and pretending to die. Tragedies are usually performed by homosexuals with an IQ below 60 and ugly women who, never the less, have big boobs. They are also Hilarious

[edit] History of Tragedy

It is often said the word Tragedy comes from the Greek Tragos, which means goat. This is true, as the first known writer of tragedies was a goat, most appropriately named Tragos. Tragos only wrote three tragedies, which were performed by The Wandering Group of Homosexual Acting Goats. Tragedies were invented by Tragos as a way to convince goatherds to free them in the wild. Since goatherds didn't understand goat language, the attempt failed. Theater and performing were already quite well known before Tragos the goat, but they were all long, boring "comedies" staged by Oscar Wilde. These comedies were so lame and corny, they actually got funny. People also found Tragedy funny because it was performed by goats. Goats sound funny, don't they?

[edit] Famous Tragic Actors

One of the most famous of all tragic actors is Benny Hill, said to have made statues and Hello Kitty cry (obviously, by boredom). Benny Hill performed over 120 roles, and was critically acclaimed in each one of them for being pathetically lame to the point of becoming Your Mom's idol.

Another famous performer of tragedies is legendary Rowan Atkinson, and the first human to have performed Tragos' tragedies in Goatish (unfortunately, he wasn't very successful.) Rowan retired a few years ago and currently works as Vice-President of Zimbabwe.

Polls show 1 out of 5 people in the world have engaged in tragic performance, yet another poll also states polls that show 1 out 5 people in the world have engaged in tragic performance are actually talking about bestiality.

[edit] Famous Tragedies

The most famous tragic playwrights are Your Mum, Tragos, some other goats, Al Gore and, of course, Mickey Mouse. Mickey's plays have made over 0.37 USD all across the globe, making him by far the most successful tragic playwright of all time. His plays include Roger the Cabbage Salesman (an old man who dies for lusting after his neighbour's cabbage: a mortal sin), Fat Guy With Tiny Penis (tale of an obese spanish man and his mentally retarted girlfriend), Gipsy Bastard Who Won't Return My Tupperware (based on visions from kitten huffing trips) and Power to the Mice (Nobody really knows what's it about. Then again, who cares.)

[edit] Today

Tragedy is one of the most boring things that ever existed. It's the number one cause of death in the United States, surpassing both homicide-suicide by alcoholic great uncles and death by kitten overdose. During Prohibition, Tragedy was outlawed for ruining the safety of the people. It was legalized after World War II when people realized it was great compared to war. They soon found out war was actually exciting, but nobody cared because Tragedy is extremely unpopular anyway.

Tragedy is probably deemed to disappear within the next years, unless goatse becomes the most advance life form in existence and conquers the world.

[edit] Controversy

Recently, sheeps have claimed to have invented tragedy 5000 years before the goats did, when a neandertal chopped off a sheep's head and the remaining sheeps read a dialogue about sheeps in order to honour the dead. Unfortunately, scientists discovered dialogue about sheeps is not tragedy, but a strange scientific formula which perfectly simulate the habilities of the bunny's digestive system.

The Catholic Church also claimed tragedy was evil, because Satan kinda looks like a goat. Authorities say this is fake. Everybody knows Satan is a simply a red dude with horns.

[edit] Conclusion

Tragedy is pretty much boring and uninteresting. Snobs pretend to like it, but it's really not that important. Go watch porn instead -- it's full of real tragedy. Pretty lesbians.