Toy Planet

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CJ Action Figure

The first visitor of Toy Planet, Sammy set a record for the shortest life span ever, 5.64 seconds while being thrown around in a whirlpool. This is what archaeologists recently have been able to recover.

The toy planet exists as a replicate of Earth, often used as a resort for mauled barbie dolls, McDonald's Happy Meal toys, crappy video games, crappy video games from McDonald's, and any other piece of junk that can be found in a garbage bin. The planet is covered with luxurious hotels that have a unique scent of huffed kittens complete with starved dogs that provide 24-hour involuntary room/maid service, all of which make plastic toys feel right at home. In recent years, however, environmentalists are snatching toys away to mash into new toys, which are then returned to Earth to be screwed over by a G.I. Joe action figure once again. Strangely enough, none of the inhabitants of toy planet are doing anything about it.

edit Landmarks

Toy Planet has 3 exotic landmarks, most of which are still visited today by hundreds of toy tourists, mostly American.

  • Big Campfire- For just 1 plastic leg, any toy can jump in the flames to help preserve the fiery heart of Toy planet. For 50 cents, a toy can invite its friends to join to help light up their day.
  • The Great Whirlpool of Sammy- Something that's not very important. I really don't know how it got mentioned here.
  • Tiny Toy Chest for Teeny Totters to the Left- Over 2 million Toys live here, all cramped up in a wooden 3" by 4" box, despite there being a gigantic mansion to the right.
  • Gigantic Mansion to the Right- Even though the mansion is quite roomy, over 2 million toy inhabitants reside in a Tiny Toy Chest for Teeny Totters to the left.

edit Geography

Ever since the beginning of Toy Planet's adolescent years, every single bit of Toy Planet have been under dramatic, exciting, and emotional changes that would be extremely dramatic, exciting, and emotional if watching a planet slowly turn different colors was actually dramatic, exciting, and emotional. The weather is relatively similar to Earth's, but there is a dramatic, exciting, and emotional difference between their geography.

Daffy Rally

He's actually pretty good at getting drunk, but really bad at screaming

edit Lakes, Oceans, and Streams

Although Earth's waters are mostly blue and contains many colorful species of aquatic life, Toy Planet is a very strange yellow and there are only red-stained pieces of plastic floating in the ponds. Every Friday the 14th, however, there have been numerous sightings of drooling, cross-eyed creatures, as well as the water slowly transforming into a dark shade of brown. During every Thursday the 13th, all toys are tested to practice screaming and running like a drunk maniac on Fridays. They always fail the Fridays section of the Test, as well as the running part, for some strange reason.

edit Deserts, Wastelands, and Plains

Due to the fact that toys don't really need water, air, or a life, these make perfect habitats. Unlike Earth, there is no life at all, as all the water is located in the Lakes, Oceans, and Streams, Oh My!!! section, The air has better things to do than hang out with toys, and the toys really shouldn't have a life after being screwed by a G.I. Joe action figure, even if they are G.I Joe action figures themselves.

edit Mountains, Ridges, and Hills

These formations have always been one of the most important problems of toys everywhere. After the citizens of toy planet signed their first agreement for the heck of it, all toys had to climb the mountains. Since the toys had trouble climbing the mountains, goodness knows why, they had to enlist the help of humans. To this day, they are still waiting for some help from a human on toy planet.

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