Tony Romo
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“Alright, call it a win. Hike! Got it, ball down, laces out--oh, fuck!”
~ Tony Romo on choking while doing the very thing he was PAID TO DO FOR YEARS
“He had some mantits.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Tony Romo
“A great young QB. Don't tell Terrell, but sometimes we write up plays when we're eating ice cream late at night. He's so great.”
~ Jason Witten on Tony Romo
“Brett Favre?!?!?!”
~ John Madden on Tony Romo
“Damn! Romo is every stereotypical Mexican, always leaving the job half done!”
~ Every Cowboys Fan on Tony Romo
Tony Romo (born into relativity on January 2, 2006) is a Brett Favre wannabe, which is why he throws atleast one interception a game. He was cloned from Favre's DNA to become the quarterback for the Green Bay Packers when Favre would retire in 2224, but Tony Romo was stolen by the Dallas Cowboys (another Packer loss from management sleeping on the job).
Tony Romo is most famous for his shower sex tape with Terrell Owens, which includes a bonus scene with Jerry Jones. The three of them gangraped pacman jones for 3 hours because they are gay Although this influenced the filming of Brokeback Mountain, it sparked too much drama within the team. When Terrell Owens dumped Tony Romo after they lulzy defeat 44-6 BITCH to the Eagles, Tony Romo collapsed in the shower and begging Terrell for his popcorn.
Contents |
[edit] Beginnings in Dallas
Drew Bledsoes colorblind ass sucked so much that Parcells started Homo in week 6 against the Philadelphia Sheagles what was the score of that final regular 08-09 season game? Drew Bledsoe sucked ass!!!. He sucked ass!! Anyway, it was a bad loss, but everybody figured that Romo just needed to learn to win. Romo then proceeded to lead the Dallas Cowboys into the playoffs, where he proceeded to lose in agonizing fashion against the Seahawks.
[edit] 2006 Playoffs
Even with Romo in learning mode, the Cowboys were still able to make the playoffs because of Terrell Owens balling on gay ass teams and Bill Parcells toning down his duchebagness by estrogen pills. After that, he was just a whinny little bitch. The Cowboys strutted into the playoffs as a young up and coming team to be reckoned with, and were handed an overrated team from the terrible NFC West. They had the Seahawks right where they wanted them....until Romo turned a routine snap hold, into a mass Cowboy fan attempted suicide.
[edit] 2007 Season
The next season, Romo got off his ass and actually started practicing accuracy a little more. The Cowboys were the surprise team of the season (until the playoffs), and Romo was embarrassing bitch ass teams left and right. If Tom Brady hadn't gotten Moss and his coach "Caiptan Anal Leakage" a CAMERA, he could have easily won the MVP trophy. His only other legitimate competition was Brett Favre on multiple pain killers. After a Cowboys-Packers head to head battle, Favre would need even more pain killers, as the Cowboys wooped that Packer ass. After the game, Brett Favre exclaimed;“WOOOH DOGGY, IF THAT TONY ROMO STARTS HITTING THEM PAIN KILLERS LIKE ME, HES GONNA BE SOMETHING TO BE RECKONED WITH FOR THE NEXT 16 TO 30 YEARS”
~Too bad Romo did not take Favre's advice, because he could have used them in the near future.....and not just because of that HOT piece of tits and ass named Jessica Simpson that he recently started banging
[edit] 2007 Playoffs
In Romo's first game in the 2007 playoffs, Romo and the Cowboys were defeated by the Giants defense - not Eli Manning's Elmar Fudd looking ass. The theme of the game was;
“ROMO"S RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE OUT THERE..AND THE GAINATS DEFENSE SACKS HIM AGAIN”
~ {{{2}}}
The main reason for the loss, though, was because Eli Manning was secretly very gay and wanted to have gay sex with Tony Romo, which made him immune to the post-game gayness if he won. Eli Manning became so gay that he and the Giants went on to defeat the gay Patriots in Superbowl 42. The Giants ended up being the eventual Super Bowl Champions, and Tony Romo had to go home and be consoled by Jessica Simpson...over, and over, and over again...up down, up down, up down.
[edit] 2008
Romo broke the record for consecutive games played while being gay with 214 on September 15, 2008. Romo had surpassed Peyton Manning (213) and Aaron Rodgers (211) the week before. Then mid season Romo broke his pinky while Penis jousting with Peyton Manning and his brother Eli Manning. Tony would return later in the season with an increased level of homosexuality, he became the biggest queer the NFL had ever seen. And due to his 69 interception to the eagles, the cowboys missed the playoffs. However Tony Romo did beat out Trent Edwards for gayest quarterback of the year
[edit] 2009
What do think is gonna happen, if still unsure, read above. Do you see any recurring theme year after year?
June 16th, 2009- Tony Homo announced he has a new boyfriend. It was queer hockey player Sidney Crosby. He announced that every Tuesday they shave each others assholes and ass fuck eachother. They also are the 2 biggest peices of shit in all of sports, and a recent poll indicated that 97% of crosby and homo fans have sucked at least 12 black cocks in their lives.
[edit] Doubled in Size
A new commercial gives video evidence that Tony Romo has had his size doubled in order to increase his on-field (and off-field) performance. The doubling of his height pumps him up to 12 feet, 4 inches. The troubling factor of this height change is that his weight stayed at 224 pounds. commissioner Roger Goodell has not yet responded to this height change, which is probably illegal. It appears that Romo is hoping no one will notice this change and hopes to pass it off as a late growth spurt. It looks like the Lemon Pepsi Romo consumed caused this massive growth. Coach Wade Phillips also tried to alter his appearance through consumption of Pepsi. However, his weight was doubled instead.
Even though he doubled in size, his penis was still 2 inches
[edit] Records
* most blonde bombshells banged in a season (which includes T.O.) * most hoes to come see him at a game * most douchebags embarrassed in a game * most punt interceptions in a season * most pinkie attention in a season * most leisure suits worn in a season * most 60s hats worn in a season * most "it's just a game" lame sayings in one season * most chokes in one game
---
[edit] CRYSTAL BALL PREDICTS
Romo finished his Hall of Fame career in Dallas, and helped lead the Cowboys to a current NFL Franchise leading 8 Super Bowls. He is currently not in possession of his three Super Bowl rings. His 1st wife Jessica Simpson was given the 1st ring, his 2nd wife Vanessa Hudgens the 2nd ring, and his 3rd wife Miley Cyrus the 3rd ring. It is also believed that Jessica Simpson is no longer in possession of the 1st Super Bowl ring as well, after Romo's former teammate Terrell Owens gave Jessica his only Cowboys Super Bowl ring after he got word of Romo's newborn baby...being African American. T.O. and Jessica Owens currently reside in Los Angeles, California, where their current reality show, I love me some Jungle Fever, is being shot.
I'm Jerry Jones Ed Werder making up shit I don't know about reporting from my mansion Valley Ranch, ESPN.
