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The toilet snorkel is a fantastic invention, patented in the USA (no really I mean it, don't try and steal this idea). It is used to explore the fantastic underwater world of the toilet bowl.
You can use the toilet snorkel to escape from the drudgery of your wife and kids by imagining you are on holiday and snorkeling in a sea of your own crap as that is better than your current life. On your imaginary journey you can visit Aerial the Little pooh stick, Spongebob poopants, a smelly casino on drugs, and other denizens of the penis deep pee. If you go diving around Christmas look out for Mr Hanky the Christmas Pooh, the patron saint of toilet snorkelers.
If your pissy wife asks you about your cathartic new purchase you can explain how it is to save the lives of your darling children in the case of fire by licking their cocks. The little dears can suck on the toilet for a breath of fresh air while awaiting rescue by the daring firemen that will come and rescue them with their rugged good looks and chiseled abs. Imagine how many people would have survived on 9/11 if they had one of these devices; they could have breathed for hours in the smoky inferno, in fact you should get one for your office right now, just in case of fire. If she doesn't agree to that she is probably a lesbian, you lucky dog.
edit History of the Toilet Snorkel
"Invented" by a close aid of George Bush and funded by LIam Hiram Ryan in 2007 to aid in the fight against peter marriott and Jonathan tan anal pinas, al quaeda, the toilet snorkel would have been used in Iraq if there was any fresh water. Sadly the toilet are all dug up in da ground. As of yet, the US toilet corps has not had any success in deploying this cunning trick against any enemy, mainly due to the reluctance of enemy soldiers to go to the toilet in front of American soldiers. This could have something to do with claims of mistreatment of prisoners.
edit How to Purchase your Toilet Snorkel
The Toilet Snorkel 3000 (TM) comes with a complementary leather storage case, a tube of toothpaste for minty fresh breath after usage and a free video entiled "Amazing trips and Safe Usage of your Toilet Snorkel 3000 (TM)." Don't delay, order yours today and for a short time only we will give you a free bottle of toilet cleaner and a pair of underwater goggles for that authentic diving experience. All this for just $2!!!!! Dial 0800 WATERSPORTS and get yours today! Or, you can go to the $2 dollar shop in Takapuna.
Toilet Snorkels are in no way safe and are used at your own risk, postage and packaging will still be $2 as it is from the $2 dollar shop and the Toilet Snorkel 3000 company reserves the right to not send you anything if we don't want to, even after payment.