Toad

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“Sorry Mario, Your princess is in Another Castle® !”

~ Toad on Mario's princess always being in another castle

“Who said anything about the princess?”

~ Mario before they got really gay

Toad is a mythical creature from the video game "Super Mario" and subsequent editions of this series. Were it to actually exist, scientists agree it would probably eat mainly flies, other toad, crackers, and the souls of disobedient children. The toad natural enemy is known as "Mr. T," a large winged creature made entirely out of cheddar cheese and farts. The god among toad is named Toad, but is becoming less and less popular. Toad is well know for being the bestfriend of Princess Peach, the little slut who thinks shes hot. Toad has also been called Kinopio, or shitshroom.

Toad is a lesbian because she's dating Toadette.

[edit] The Life of Toad

Asexual my foot!

As an asexuals, toad only has no gender and reproduces with spores, so theres no need for him to dress certain ways, but...he sometimes likes to feel pretty...is that a crime, Mario thinks it is, because he's psychotic, but enough about him. Your average toad lives to about 25-50. And there favorite foods are.. Mushroom flavored alchohol, magic mushrooms, and marijuana. Yes, drugs are what make his voice so scratchy. Toad have lots of similar traits to that of a human, Toad could probably outlive us, if they werent on so much drugs. Since there are so many toad we couldn't tell you about all of them, so we took out the most popular one..."TOAD". He has played in lots of games and movies, he won 2 Woody's for best asexual porno ever! Also, in Buddhism, Toad is revered as the god who tells people who have achieved nirvana: "Thank you (Insert name here), but your spiritual perfection is in another castle." Promptly afterwards, he urinates all over the person.

[edit] Toad's lifestory to fame

Back in 1987, Toad enjoyed such thing's as, smoking dope and beating homeless men, mainly for their drugs and other related goods. But one day, one of them men he beat was GEN from street fighter. and so toads rise to fame began, he went around the world, fighting, and mostly losing. Until his big break where Steven spielburg asked him to star in a movie called, The Mighty Dikes 2, In that movie toad played as Joelene, a lesbian who hung out with her friends. After that Toad was asked to star in a film called, The insiders, where he met mario, The movie was about these guys who were in a gang, and, had another rival gang, and they were all friends but didn't want to be. After that movie toad's rise to fame began, he was totally famous! Loved by toads all over the world!

[edit] Toad life of Drugs

Looking like a mushroom has been a long hard road for toad. His resemblence to the most popularly used drug in America has got him into many troublesome situations. He is constantly being chased and ocassionaly gets eaten. After a person takes a bite of the toad in question he is sent on somthing resembling a psychadelic trip. The person will be magicaly wisked away to mario world were he has the chance to try and beat the game with 3 lifes if succesful toad will be brought back to life and they will all live happily ever after. If the user gets a game over then a lifetime in the jail of bowser will follow. It is not worth eating toad follow my advice and dont eat anything shaped like a mushroom.That is all from Noor Hyatt Khan.

[edit] Toad life troubles

During all this movie making Toad made millions, and eventually, got surgery sp that he had a penis, after the movie "Dude, wheres my shrooms?" Toad knocked up some skank in Marisiana and they moved to Luigia, where they settled down for a while, but then Toad was called back to L.A where he made ton's more movies, but his relationship between his wife/sister "Toadette" soon soured, he was making movies but spend no time home, his children became hippies and he learned his pet "Lakitu" died of Koopaids. so toad quit the movie business and went home, although he sometimes gets invited to "Mario's Drunken Parties".

[edit] The Present Toad

These days you may find Toad pounding his wife with his fake penis, or drinking heavily at Mario's parties. Toad basically just lives the life of an average drunk these days.

Recently, he enrolled in Mizzou to study textile and apparel management and joined Sigma Pi fraternity, where he set a North American record for most kegstands by a fungus or moss in one calendar year.

Toad tends to lick himself(hence his name).

[edit] Movies and books toad was in or wrote

Mighty Dikes
Dude, wheres my shrooms?
Gargling Ryans Privates
Jame bond: die tomorow
THe insiders
Of things seen
Put that back in your thong
Ass sniffer 2
I can't believe its not pizza
IDIOTS GONE WILD!!!
Moby Duck
Its not delivery its Domino's!
Grand Theft Auto:Shrooms Town
The History of Anthropology
Sexetera: the movie
The Yoshis of Notre Dame
300(n00bies)
Micheal Jackson's 3-D Rape-O-Rama!

[edit] Some games toad appeared in

Super Mario Brothers
Super Mario Brothers 2: sUPER sexy pimps
Super Mario Brothers 4: PWNAGE!!!!!!!
Super Mario: city four
Toad adult show
Mario party 2: Boobs and Babes
Mario party 4: I'm so-a drunk
Mario Party 5: Lets start-a gang
Mario Party 6: Gang Wars
Mario Party 7: GangBang!
Mario Party 8: IT'S-A STRIP-A PARTY!!!! MAMA MIA!!!!
Toad takes down the Woods!
Mario Tennis: Flaming ball of doom
Peach Ploughers 2
Peach Ploughers 5:Git R' Done!
Mario football: Skull smashers
Super Mario Bros Episode II: Attack of the shrooms.
Super Mario bros 69: Sea of shrooms!
Super Mario Kingdom 3: Fuhrers Mansion
Anal rape:TOAD edition
Grand theft Auto: Mushroom Kingdom
Grand theft Auto: Shroom City
Grand theft Auto: SanAnshroomas
Grand theft Auto: Shroom City Stories
R.O.B's a gay faggot
Mario & Sonic at the Winter Olympic Games
YOURE PREGNANT?!?: the game
Total Destruction 2: Dreamland
Yoshi's M game for cool/sexy/beast/anthropomorphic people!
Cannabis Park
Nigga stole my bike! the game
TITTIES.
Wii like sex!

So as you can see, toad lived and still lives quite the life.

[edit] Mr. Toad

Mr. Toad is kind character in popular culture who has learned much from the original Toad. His primary function is to complain as much as possible about as many pubs and restaurants as he can. He has acquired many enemies and many friends, but can never forget his greatest help, which has been and always will be Toad.