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DaVinci's Hewlett-Packard printer was to be the undoing of his most famous work, resulting in what art scholars have termed the "Mono Lisa."
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March 19: Oh my god... I'm like... so freaking high right now... Kitten Huffing Day (traditional)

  • 1000000 BCE -The first kitten is discovered by Egyptians. They try eating the kitten to get high but discover that you must sniff the critter.
  • 1300 - Chinese explorer Hu Flhung Dhung brings back kittens to which the Chinese become instantly addicted.
  • 1301 - Exactly one year later, the Chinese invent a more refined way of getting kitten into your system, now known by the street name "heroin". It is really kitten in pure form.
  • 1462 - Holy Roman Emperor Yugo Hugo IV dies because he finds someone else's shoe wedged next to his toilet.
  • 1915 - U.S. President Woodrow Wilson becomes the first American to get high on kittens.
  • 1915 - Pluto is photographed for the first time, discovering the first extra-terrestrial colony of humans huffing kittens.
  • 1940 - Nazi scientists invent Fanta, a four-legged mammal that was supposed to be huffed just like a kitten, in order to overcome the Allied embargo of kittens.
  • 1942 - The U.S. implements wartime rationing of kittens and all cats under two years old.
  • 1969 - Keith Richards swears that he has huffed his last kitten.
  • 1972 - After huffing several hallucinogenic tigers, India and Bangladesh sign a friendship treaty.
  • 1978 - Keith Richards swears that he has huffed his last kitten.
  • 1981 - Paint and Chihuahua huffing causes fatalities as kittens are in short supply.
  • 2003 - Saddam Hussein is forced to huff goats due to the impending U.S. invasion.
  • 2007 - Keith Richards snorts his dad, wins "Reformed Huffer of the Year" award from PETA.

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Today's Featured Article - Drake of the 99 Dragons


Drake of the 99 Dragons is a 2003 third-person shooter video game for the Xbox and Windows. In the game, the clan of the 99 Dragons has been wiped out and the artifact they were supposed to be guarding slips into the wrong hands, while they were all distracted by being murdered. One of the clan members, Drake, doesn't let death get in the way of destiny, and returns from the grave to avenge his clan, recover the carelessly lost item, and show them that living post-mortem may present a challenge to the nostrils or finding a partner, but should not have an effect on basic guard duties.

Drake received universal acclaim, redefining the standard for great games alongside Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing, released the same week. Developer Idol FX planned on making a comic book and cartoon based on it, but the game was too good to waste time letting people read or watch its great story. All in told, the games' sales made its developers even richer than Bill Gates.

The primary objective of Drake is to find those bastards who murdered your clan and shoot them in the face. To do so, the player uses a wide array of violent gut-splattering firearms. Like an Italian chef that has just has his veal cutlet returned by a customer, Drake uses the strategy of darting around and flailing his arms everywhere, then randomly shooting the nearest person without looking. (more...)

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