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Gene Roddenberry has inspired us to work on 31,544 exauhstive articles about the minutia of the face make up on third alien from the left in the untransmitted crowd shot from the 4th episode of the 2nd series of DS9 since opening in January 2005.


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Selected anniversaries</br />

April 29: Annual Belly Button Lint Harvest

  • 2400 BC - In the earliest recorded instance of a Dear John letter, Cleopatra leaves her husband Caesar using a well-placed papyrus scroll.
  • 1862 - New Orleans falls to Union forces under Admiral David Farragut. Ironically, 100 years later, Union forces prove the eventual undoing of the manufacturing sector.
  • 1945 - The German military in Italy unconditionally surrenders to the Allies. Later, Allied forces would attribute their swift victory to the food allergies of the German forces, specifically to meatballs.
  • 1954 - On a dare, a group of drunken Oxford engineering students builds Stonehenge in just under 5 hours in the middle of the night.
  • 1968 - The controversial musical Hair, based on an Oscar Wilde work, opens on Broadway.
  • 1988 - Video kills the Radio Star. Video is promptly arrested.

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Today's Featured Article - Horatio Nelson

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Horatio 'Cyclops' Nelson (1758-1805) was Great Britain's greatest naval hero. He beat the French, Spanish and Danish fleets and still had enough energy to grapple with Emma Hamilton on his days off. He was the only man who Emperor Napoleon said was a bigger bastard than he (by about two inches). He died discussing stubborn shirt stains at the Battle of Trafalgar.

Horatio Nelson was born with a full compliment of arms, legs and eyes in Norfolk, England in 1758 to the Reverend Edmund Nelson and wife Catherine. His father - taking the Christian maxim about going forth and multiplying - kept his wife in almost constant labour as he wanted to breed a 'Cricket eleven'. Horatio came in to 'bat' as number six which usually means he was a bit of an 'all rounder'. In British naval terms this also suggested sexual ambiguity but Nelson was definitely keener on frocks and kept a chest of contemporary fashions in his cabin when he became an officer.

The future war hero got the sea bug early and skipped off school to join a local fishing fleet in Lowestoft. There Nelson learnt all the available ropes like how to stay drunk standing up and partaking of rollicking sea adventures involving killing a sexy polar bear and not paying for beer in the French seaport of Calais. It was here where Nelson first learned to hate the French when one of their Ladies of Leisure laughed at the size of his 'mainmast. Nelson later on mentioned in his diaries that this experience was 'worse that taking a musket ball in the arm' and later led him to try out the vacuum pump to increase the size and circumference of his personal block and tackle. It is believed that this is where the term 'The Nelson Method Touch' was first coined and would copied by all future British seamen. (more...)

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