Time signature

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Time signature.

Time signature (also known as meter signature) is a plot invented by a paranoid schizophreniac with a fear of all numbers not multiples of two. If you look closely at all time signatures, there is no number that can be used in them that is not a multiple of two. This strange phenomenon was called "The Rule Of Two". it is used in all styles of music except for: Rap Hip Hop and Ringo Starr.[1]

Common time

Common time means 4/4 which can be reduced to 1. This is why all of the number 1 hits of all time have been in common time. Cut time (pronounced Cunt time), is the same thing but twice as fast. You may just ask why not just play common time twice as fast. This is because you are stupid and don't understand anything about music. common misconceptions of common time is it is often referred to central time or green witch time, which is when you play music conducted by a witch with a runny nose.

That Top Number

When time signatures where invented, many people wondered why one number was on top. These people were communists, and did not like that some numbers were "better" than others. Since capitalism is the most common used economic plan, all the protesters where executed by the capitalist overlords and now time signatures are stuck as they are now.

That Top Time

As suggested by the name, all the signature does is say that all written music is at the very least "read", at the very best "sung" at a time (or moment), and a place (specified as distance in meters from the the place it was selected - hence the "meter").

Interestingly enough, these time signatures can look rather odd ( 2½/4 ), and such forms are mainly used in army training / real combat situations, by message encryption units trying to please their superiors by sending in reports Pleasant to the Ear. We all know what that means, in the context of walls.


  1. List Of Musicians Who Disregarded The Rule Of Two: 1. Ringo Starr and 2. That Drummer in System of a Down. 'Nuff said.
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