Timbuktu

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Revision as of 23:06, June 5, 2012

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Timbuktu.
Dutch

Arjan Krukkert, a well known citizen and Mayor of Timbuktu

“"We were walking in the Orient,
When we spied three maidens in a tent,
But they were threee, and we were two,
So I bucked one and Timbuktu”
~ Jingo the Studmuffin

Timbuktu, also spelled TOMBOUCTOU, is a city in the West African nation of Mali.

Language

Dutch the native language of Timbuktu, is similar to Swahili and Germanic languages.

Geography

Somewhere in the desert in Africa

Fucking guy lolol

Jordan DaSafo, one of few olympic players from Timbuktu.

Commerce

Timbuktu is historically important as a post on the trans-Saharan caravan route. Lots of Dutch people who visit Africa with their caravan will have a stop at Timbuktu. Also ducks visit Timbuktu much, the best known of them is Donald Duck. In the 14th century Timbuktu became an important focal point of the camel-woman trade. Timbuktan merchants ruled from the desert, and, though they plundered periodically, trade and learning continued to flourish. Timbuktu manufactures imports many goods across the galaxy, including black slaves, monkey statues, Colt 45's, crack, and doubleledged dildos.

Food

Traditional Timbuktan food is based on parts of the main cattle: camels and goats. Due to the harsh conditions of the desert, animals are eaten to the last bit, including parts considered hideous by westerners, such as balls, eye-balls, utterus, vagina and tail. Delicacies consumed by the wealthy population in Timbuktu include fried pigeon wings seasoned in sun dried human feces, and Donkey Cum pop.

Dog4

OMFG!!!

Government

After the disappearance of the monkeyruler, King Kong, of Timbuktu, great leader of the jungle Arjan Krukkert became Prime Minister of Timbuktu. The people of Timbuktu think he is a great leader because his face is filled with tarrels.

Alia

According to the great prophet Sukhvinder, master of economics, Alia was sent to Timbuktu for punishment of her crimes of not changing seats in class for a test. It was later revealed that she had been planning to rule the world, and had hidden her truly ingenious plans in that desk,which were lost forever because of spontaneous combustion.. (This last bit was added by someone who's name REALLY is Alia :D)

Exile of Napoleon Bonaparte

In 1823, Napoleon Bonaparte, The Glorious People's Republic of France's chairman, was exiled to Timbuktu and almost died. He was saved by a Muslim merchant known as Abdul, who armed with 200mm semi-automatic bio-warhead equipped nuclear shell launching system destroyed the prison. Napoleon immediately took Abdul to France, and let him assault the world. The history of Napoleon's reign was started from here. In fact, this is a true story.

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