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Tiger are a sly an cunning animal. originally create in the fire and brimstone of France, they managed to escape from the Jactuan research facility after years of genetic modification.

So? What are tigers actually made of?

Unknown to must humans tigers are actually made of left over fetal matter from the termination of alien embryos from area 51 experiments. The fetal matter must undergo many analytical techniques to determine its suitability for tiger formation. The analytical techniques used involve mass spectography and ultra centrifuge chromatography using radio isotope CaT(v).

How are tigers made?

When the fetal matter has been labelled suitable for tiger formation the tissues are removed using high pressure conc. sulphuric. one the tissue has been separated from the spinal column the grey matter is inspected using nano machines that resemble Brad Pitt. When the spinal cord has been certified as intact, linux is booted directly via the medula oblongata, during this process and IMB G5 powerbook is used to surpress the urge for the spinal cord to attack the lead scientist and attach itself to the cerebrum.

Once the spinal cord has booted, the remaining fetal tissue is injected into a mould via injection moulding around the spinal cord. The fetal tissue with spinal cord is then inserted into a George Forman Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine. The "Tiger" is heated for around 35 minutes, the fin in the grill cause stripes along the body of the tiger. when the stripes appear charcoal black the tiger, the creature is ready to have the neuro transmitter unit hotwired into the grey matter to control anger and growth. Once completed the tiger can be released into the wilds of jactuan to help keep control of any escaped monkey/man hybrid creatures.

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