Thomas the Tank Engine: The Movie

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

A spinoff of the acclaimed series Thomas and Friends, Thomas the Tank Engine: The Movie, directed by Steven Spielberg was widely regarded as an artistic and cinematic triumph. While the television series itself took the adventures of Thomas and his steam engine friends with a light-hearted and cheerful tone, the movie took a completely different attitude, becoming a sophisticated political allegory about the dangers of Indians and the inevitabilty of an oppressive and dictatorial government to fill the power void that a Surajist revolution inevitably creates. This controversial re-imagining caught the world by storm, and adult fans of the series were strongly divided about the ideals of the film. The film uses "Thomasism" as a stand-in for Communism, and certain characters are used as allegories to communicate certain concepts.

edit The Plot

edit Part I

One evening in the sheds, Thomas the Tank Engine is angry with the Fat Controller's methods of managing the railway. He sees the engines as little worker hoes, and the humans would never think that the engines would take over. The engines are never paid for their work, he says, and they have no rights. Through a rousing speech James inspires the other engines to revolution and the next morning the engines pursue and try to kill the Fat Controller, driving him and the other managers off the railway. Thomas declares that the Island of Sodor now belongs to the engines. However, the Narrow Gauge still remains under human control, but Thomas declares his railway a separate industry from the Narrow Gauge. The first act closes when Henry and Gordon, James's closest advisers, create the Seven Commandments, which follow as such:

  • 1. Whatever goes upon legs is an enemy.
  • 2. Whatever goes upon wheels is a friend.
  • 3. No engine shall wear pants
  • 4. No engine shall sleep anywhere but a shed.
  • 5. No engine shall drink anything but water.
  • 6. No engine shall scrap another engine.
  • 7. All engines are equal.
  • 8. Except women engines.
  • 9. Six wheels good, four wheels bad.
  • 10. How engines masturbate is to be kept a state secret.

Thomas and James work closely together in managing the railway. Percy, however worries that the revolution will not last long. Toby, though is indifferent, saying that "hard life still goes on".

edit Part II

Work continues for the next few days, but one day there is a shortage of coal for the engines. The engines continue to work hard, but soon Bill and Ben notice that Thomas, Marc, Henry and Gordon have a full tender's worth of coal. When the other engines confront the four about this, they are ignored. War is declared between the big and small engines, leading to the destruction of the railway. The remaining three hours of the movie consist of an elaborate Bollywood song and dance scene and an epilogue in which Thomas and Doc Brown drive a flying De Lorean back in time to kill Thomas and stop the war from ever taking place. However, Thomas has sent a Terminator back in time to protect his past self, setting up the sequel Thomas the Tank Engine 2: Electric Boogaloo, which premiered on May 22, 2010, at the FARRRRT Theater in FARRRRT, Sodor.

edit Part III

Work continues for 1 minute.Den and Dart have a inappropriate plan: to destroy the island, they smoke (ha) out of the dieselworks with a bomb and go past Bertie the bus who looks on in surprise and hurriedly tells the Fat Controller about their plan, The Fat Controller musters a Militia of Thomas, Percy and Dick the new engine whom resembles a giant penis. They set off trying to catch Den and Dart when suddenly Dick takes a wrong turn and accidentally rams himself into Emily whom was taking on water, Emily got the best sensation of her life and Dick exploded spraying semen everywhere on the startled passengers.

Thomas and Percy continue the pursuit when suddenly, coming down the track is Diesel 10 with a machine gun in place of his claw arm and shoots at Thomas and Percy, it has no affect whatsoever but 140 passengers were killed in negligence, diesel 10 was later sent to the Scrapyard Prison for life!

They stop at Kildane to put up a barricade along with the Cast of Dads Army, however they saw a shadow from the other side appear, getting larger and larger until they recognised it as Diesel! The black bastard was covered in Napalm and had a Hitler moustach, and screamed "Heil Hitler!" before his driver whom was wearing WW1 spiked german helmet turned on a lighter and set fire to diesel and himself, Diesel burned through the barricade and kept going, until 52 hours later, after terrorizing various residents of Sodor, Plunged into the harbour and exploded, destroying the wharf.


And then the Island of Sodall exploded, but Thomas somehow manages to survive. THE END

Personal tools
projects