This One 'Weird' Trick Will Improve Your 135Cs(n, gamma) Cross Section!

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
This One 'Weird' Trick Will Improve Your 135Cs(n, gamma) Cross Section!

Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard

UnNews Logo Potato
Sunday, March 18, 2018, 02:23:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

3 July 2015


Burn that cesium off!

LOS ALAMOS, New Mexico -- If you’re like most of us, you’ve probably had trouble getting a sufficient neutron absorption cross section in your cesium-135... if you even get any measurable transmutation at all…

It could be that your monitoring hardware is causing too much neutron shadowing... or perhaps your reflector contains a higher boron impurity than you expected…

And like anything else you’ve been struggling with, you might suspect that there is something out there that could help that you just don’t know about yet…

After all, you know that switching to 90Zr-enriched fuel cladding doesn't provide a sufficient neutronicity boost, and using a higher enriched fuel is too expensive and faces too many regulatory hurdles, and any improvements you make to your neutron flux you lose to xenon poisonining!

Am I right? I thought so…

…then I know you’re going to be happy to hear more about this UNIQUE NEWS story I just finished reading:

The facts are, a formerly unsuccessful PWR operator hit an average 135Cs(n, gamma) cross section of OVER 150 BARNS in just a few months by stumbling on this 1 weird trick that burns cesium at UNBELIEVABLE RATES with just minor geometry tweaks...

But here are the other important facts from this unusual story you’ll want to know about first:

They did while still maintaining a 90+% capacity factor, with NO extra maintenance downtime… They DID NOT have to use ANY heavy water, but still lowered their moderator neutron losses to levels normally associated with a CANDU… In addition to the high cesium burn rate, they eliminated nearly 30 PERCENT of the average worker radiation dose during refueling… They did this all without using a SINGLE linac beamline or other high energy spallation neutron source… I don’t have time to repost the full story in this article, but you’re probably already wondering about all the other details… don’t worry-

-you’re going to learn everything you need to know (including the inspiring before and after NRC evaluation reports) at the Black Rock Generation Station website, right here:


Their chief engineer even shows you the 5 BIG MISTAKES you’ve probably been making trying to increase your 135Cs(n, gamma) cross section, among all the tricky little details of their fascinating, life-changing discovery.

Enjoy, and you’ll thank me later ;-)

edit Sources

Personal tools