This Bloke Down the Pub
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“Used to play for United till his knee gave way.”
“His fuckin' tab needs paying!”
“What a woman. Good times, good times. How old did you say you were again?”
This Bloke Down the Pub has a nephew who is studying personal finance at the local polytechnic and he reckons, what with his insider knowledge and all, that now is a good time to be diverting all your liquid assets into real estate. But wait! Not just any real estate. No sir! Central African coastal mangroves in Equatorial Guinea! Pow! 4000% increase in the next twelve months or his nephew is actually going to eat his fedora! I mean...you can't say fairer than that.
edit The Man, The Myth, The Legend
edit How Old is This Guy
Seriously, WTF? This Bloke Down the Pub has a first hand, working knowledge of every single event in the last 120 years! Politics, sports, humanitarian issues...the whole caboose. At one time or another he has played for City, United, Fulham and the Yankees, dated Cher, Barbara Windsor, Diana Princess of Wales (God Rest Her) and seems to be familiar with your mother as well as performing on stage with U2, Queen,Elvis and Frank Sinatra. All this without a mention of his exploits during both World Wars, Vietnam and his ongoing role in the Middle East Peace Process! Legend!
edit What my Mate Dave Reckons
The accepted ratios for embellishment under inebriated conditions are well defined and in cases where local rules apply the presiding publicans judgement is final. That being said, in my mate Dave's opinion, This Bloke Down the Pub is full of shit. In fact, Dave has been keeping a journal on the matter in hopes of producing irrefutable proof of misrepresentation.
Frankly the question is what do you need? This Bloke Down the Pub can get it, and cheap as well. At one time during the late 70's he ran a used car dealership down on Frampton Street, a fruit-stand every other Sunday at the traders market and a multinational conglomerate concerned with everything from aircraft engines to those giant foam hand thingy's you can buy at sporting events!
On the less legitimate side of the coin, on occasion This Bloke Down the Pub has been known to put his hands on some pretty convincing timepieces. My mate Dave bought a Tag Hour and a Rolox from him and, truth be told, you really can't tell the difference from anything over three feet. Nifty.
Being of 'a certain generation', This Bloke Down the Pub is not one to offend. Whatever it is you're buying will do just fine. Of course if you can stretch to a double he'd be much obliged. To your good health!