There's Something About Mary

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to There's Something About Mary.
Virgin Mary is not my lover; she's just a girl who says that I am the one, but the kid is not my son!”

Few movies have ever received as much media attention as the controversial 1998 film There's Something About Mary. Inspired by Charlton Heston's classic Who Framed Roger Rabbit, the film was written by and directed by Chris, John and Kevin P. Farley (The Farley Brothers) who went on to produce such blockbuster hits as Deuce Bigalow, Tommy Boy 3: The Revenge, and There's Something about Mary 2: Electric Boogaloo, before Chris' untimely death at the hands of Tom Cruise.

edit Plot

The first full-length motion picture filmed in Aramaic, this picture delves into the early years of Virgin Mary as she is pursued by Jehovah, Buddha, Allah, Terminator Jesus from The Future and other gods, each longing to impregnate her in order to fulfill an ancient prophecy and dominate the world's religions for the next three millennia.

Much of the film is a nouveau style of "Deific Slapstick" where the gods do their best to seduce Mary while thwarting the others and, in turn, getting thwarted themselves. The viewer is surprised and titillated by little vignettes interspersed throughout the film, showing the Not-So-Virgin Mary at the height of ecstacy with each and every God, Goddess and Godling, unbeknownst to the others. There is a running gag throughout these scenes as Mary cries out "Oh! OH!! YOU!!!" Thus the film is transformed from a "Whodunnit?" to a pornographic "Whodunnitfirst?"

In a surprise twist at the end, the audience discovers that, that Satan had already beaten them to the punch, impregnating her with his evil seed.

edit Controversy

Part comedy, part historical docu-drama, but mostly pornography, There's Something About Mary was the subject of no less than 27 protests, three riots and a failed protest-by-starvation, all of which led to the deaths of 666 people total.

Another source of consternation for many people--even those who enjoyed the film--was the necromantic raising of Who Framed Roger Rabbit's Marlene Dietrich from the dead in order to reprise her role as Virgin Mary. Though not the first actor to be raised from the dead (see Tu Pac Shakur, Elvis, John F. Kennedy), she holds the distinction of being first female actress to be raised for a starring role.

Despite these facts, though probably because of it, this film was one of the highest-grossing films of North America, Europe and Mars. Until the release of The Passion of the Christ, There's Something About Mary was the highest grossing religious-themed movie of all time, followed closely by Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

edit Instant Classic

Like Rocky Horror Picture Show and Who Framed Roger Rabbit, sexually-charged religious movies quickly develop a cult following. In theaters around the globe, fans of the film dress as their favorite Gods and attend midnight showings of the film. As the costumed fans act out scenes from the film, the showing gradually evolves into a massive Mary-fucking orgy, to the delight of all.

edit Cast

Actor Role
Marlene Dietrich Virgin Mary
Brett Farve Joseph
Matt Dillan Terminator Jesus
James Earl Jones Jehovah
Chris Elliot Buddha
Lee Evans Allah
Thor Himself
Ben Stiller Satan
Lin Shaye Mary "Magda" Magdalene
Charlton Heston Baby Jesus, Satan Jr.
Harry Shearer Hare Krishna
Jerry Mathers The Beaver

edit Trivia

Personal tools