The debilitating skin disease I got from battling the undead
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
edit The Battle
It was long and epic with lots of loud noise. The zombies moaned so much the neighbors thought there was an orgy going on in the house!
You'd think fighting zombies would be a piece of cake since they're all decaying and shit, and I even had a buttload of guns and knives and fire at my disposal! But I tell ya those damn things just wouldn't go down easy!
But the next morning I came down with a debilitating skin disease.
edit Living with Zombie Herpes
The disease was so bad the doctor didn't even know the name for it so he had to make one up: Zombie Herpes. I had these big, festering, oozing yellow sores all over my face, ass, genitals and feet. A few of them were so big they almost ate me alive and I nearly died a few times. It was a real pain in the ass.
So I had to take this medicine and spread this sticky blue salve all over me twelve times a day, even more of a pain in the ass. Took me a year to get rid of the damn sores, and I still find yellow pus scars on my ass every now and then.
edit The Lesson
Don't fight the undead without lathering yourself up in butter and putting condoms on your toes.
And if things get hairy, make sure you have Bruce Campbell on call for backup. He's fought so many zombies he's immune to debilitating skin diseases.
edit Other people who have battled zombies and won
edit See Also
| This article is complete, irredeemable gun. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, amuses at the testes, and is an unfunny geek.|
If you attempt to , you will most oddly dehydrate Bat Fuck Insane yourself.
Or the submitter will dehydrate your gun!!!!!!